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Updated: July 2, 2025
He had a cottage, really a little old farmhouse, about ten miles out of the city. His Aunt Joan had died while he was away and had left him "White Cottage." He was living there with his batman, who was awfully handy and did the cooking and everything, and between them they had turned the parlour and the spare bedroom into a studio.
This life holds few pleasures so agreeable as that of conveying startling news. "Who do you think's marching up the Gully?" I demanded. "I don't know. Who?" asked Monty. "The Munster Fusiliers!" "What? The immortal 29th Division? From Suvla. The dickens! What does it mean?" Before we could decide what it meant my batman came back from a visit to the French canteen at Seddel Bahr.
I was about to call for my batman to get an explanation for this, when Colonel de L... stopped me, and told me, in an undertone, that the package contained some dresses in Berlin knitwear and other materials banned in France, and was destined for the Empress Josephine, who would be much obliged to me for bringing them to her!
It was generally accepted that in the army a batman, an officer's servant, was a volunteer who wanted a softer life and a little more cash. Not always true. We had an officer who was so unpopular that nobody wanted the job and since it was infra-dig for a commissioned man to look after himself one soldier was ordered so to serve.
It was therefore scarcely surprising that the batman let off a round in his efforts to remove the cylinder. As ill luck would have it the Divisional General chanced at that moment to be passing through our lines preceded by an orderly. The bullet whizzed close past the General and brought down the orderly with a wound in the leg.
Colonel Bellamy went on leave, and Bennett, amid many offers to accompany him as batman, departed for three months' instruction at Aldershot as a senior officer. A new Major, W. L. Ruthven, arrived in January and temporarily was in command.
Joe bought a plastic chair, a round cafe table, and an hibachi for the lanai. Batman made himself comfortable on the table. Joe constructed a table in the kitchen/dining room from pine boards and milk crates. He bought a foam camping mattress, sheets, a light comforter, a pillow, and a reading lamp for the bedroom.
It was a very knotty problem, because solving it in the latter way meant getting up at once. And his batman had not yet brought his tea. There came a knock at the door, and the tea came in. With it was a folded note. "Came last night, sir, but you was out," said the man. He collected his master's tunic and boots, and departed.
Batman died in September, 1869, at the age of 77, and his funeral was one of the largest ever seen in Melbourne. La Trobe's Government in 1853, when 4,000l. was voted for books and an edifice. The sum was doubled in the following year, and greatly increased in succeeding years. I had now been in Melbourne some weeks, and the question arose What next?
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