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To which Arissa: "Oh, Perce, didn't I tell you I was busy?" To which Sir Percival: "Yeah, fair one, but I thought maybe you'd had a cancellation or something." To which Arissa: "Well, if I did have a cancellation, I wouldn't fill it up with you. Besides, what would we do?" To which Sir Percival: "We could go to dinner." To which Arissa: "Like where, ifay?"

In the course of the evening, Arissa happened to remark, "I wish they had apricots on the menu here. You know, I really love them. I could eat them by the ton." To which Sir Percival: "Why, Arissa, my dove, I own an orchard of apricot trees." To which Arissa: "Really? Oh, Perce." When she pronounced his name, the young maiden sighed and a glisten appeared in one or both eyes.

To which Sir Percival: "Andre's French Victuals." To which Arissa: "And when would this be?" To which Sir Percival: "I dunno. How about tomorrow night?" To which well, anyway, to her own surprise, to the astonishment of Sir Percival, and to the great confusion of the rest of the kingdom, Arissa finally actually agreed to this scenario and the next evening the two young people went to Andre's.

Even Sir Wishful had joined in the laughter, ridicule, and derision that seasoned Sir Percival's every meal with his friends. This hilarity touched the young knight and caused him to spend several days in contemplation of his past behavior. "Am I gaining or losing ground with Arissa?" he asked himself.

The mail began to arrive on time, the king soon became popular again in the outlying regions, and Sir Reginald retired to spend the rest of his days in a spiffy castle on top of a hill, with his totally gorgeous wife and, later, seventeen children. How the Noble Percival Won the Fair Arissa

Well, from here the story gets pretty mushy, so we'd better make it short. This delightful couple soon held hands; they discovered anon that their lips fit together pretty well, Arissa's ten years' worth of plans were miraculously cancelled, and Sir Percival finally asked the Big Question, to which Arissa replied, "Well, okay."

To which Arissa replied, "Sorry Perce, I'm busy. I've got to wash my hair." To which the knight: "Well, when could you go then?" To which Arissa: "Well, I'll be busy for the next ten years. I mean, I've got stuff to do, forsooth." Well, our hero was getting a bit despondent about all this, and for sure his friends weren't helping much.

Anyway, Sir Percival saw his opportunity and approached Arissa. "Arissa," he said, "how about a date anon?" Only a moment was needed for the look of mild surprise to alter the beautiful maiden's features, after which she laughed loudly in Sir Percival's face for a good ten minutes.

"Rather had she said, 'Get lost' before she said, 'You must be kidding, for as it stands, I can't say I'm making much progress." After all, Arissa seemed to be pretty okay, and Sir Percival wanted a date. In a few days, then, Arissa heard a familiar question in a familiar voice: "Arissa, sweetheart, let me ensconce you in my carriage and take you on a date."

And so they were married and lived happily ever after, with Arissa often telling Sir Percival how she had secretly loved him from the first time she saw him, while Sir Percival, each time he kissed Arissa's apricot-flavored lips, congratulated himself for his skill in winning her. Truth Carved in Stone