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Updated: June 21, 2025
Speaker, I protest, began th' Hon'rable Attila Sthrong, 'I protest At this a perfeck tornado iv rage broke out in th' gall'ries. Inkwells, bricks, combs, shoes, smellin' bottles, hand mirrors, fans, an' powdher puffs were hurled at th' onforchnit mimber.
Well, whin I first knew O'Leary he wurruked down on a railroad section tampin' th' thrack at wan-fifty a day. He was a sthrong, willin' young fellow, with a stiff right-hand punch an' a schamin' brain, an' anny wan cud see that he was intinded to go to th' fr-ront. Th' aristocracy iv th' camp was Mrs. Cassidy, th' widdy lady that kept th' boordin'-house.
In the midst iv th' confusion th' wife iv Congressman Sthrong cud be seen wavin' a par'sol over her head an' callin' out: 'I dare ye to come home to-night, polthroon.
"Kitty," said John, "it's not well you're lookin' to-night. Are ye feelin' anyways worse than common?" "It's only a bit tired I am," said Kitty, "wid the work I was afther doin' all day. I'll be as well as ever in the morning." "It's a shame, that it is," said John, "that ye have to be workin' that way, day afther day, and you not sthrong at all.
Therefore it is aisy to imagine Gin'ral Buller, findin' his position on th' north side ontenable an' his position on th' south side onbearable, is thransportin' his troops up th' river on rafts an' is now engagin' th' inimy between Spitzozone an' Rottenfontein, two imminsely sthrong points.
A black heart has Biddy Dillon? An' ye were ducked and soaked over night in the Liffey mud at Dublin, ye were claner than now? A black heart? An' yerself an ould penshioner, idle and mane, stirrin' up a scrimmage in an honest woman's house, and repeating yer haythenish nonsense, an' ye able and sthrong to take hould o' the heaviest end o' the work! Are ye not ashamed? What are ye good for?"
"Sure, hadn't he his friends, sthrong, outside?" "No matther, if the door wasn't opened to them, for then YOU would have had a stronger friend than any o' them present among them." "Who?" inquired Andy.
Th' next day ye get what's comin' to ye in th' right place an' bein' a sthrong, hearty man that cudden't be kilt be annything less thin a safe fallin' on ye fr'm a twenty-story building ye know ye ar-re goin' to die. Th' good woman advises a mustard plasther but ye scorn th' suggestion. What good wud a mustard plasther be again this fatal epidemic that is ragin' inside iv ye?
All day long ye meet no wan as ye thrip over th' coal-scuttle, happy in ye'er tile an' ye'er heart is enlivened be th' thought that th' childher in th' front iv th' house ar- re growin' sthrong on th' fr-resh counthry air. Besides they'se always cookin' to do.
I am not very sthrong in health, and there are kind female friends about me here, which you know there couldn't be up at the house.
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