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Updated: June 26, 2025
Good night, and please remember that there is no humor in the law, that the statutes do not recognize a joke, and that, for the present at least, the young woman is my wife." At the breakfast table the next morning old man Staggs spread himself back with a loud laugh as Lyman entered the room. His wife looked at him with sharp reproof. "Jasper, you ought to be ashamed of yourself," she said.
This is delightfull to the eye as the formost. I speak not of the goodnesse, for there are many things to be spoaken off. I am satisfied to assure you that it is a delightfull & beautifull country. We wanted nothing to the view passing those skirts, killing staggs, auriniacks & fowles.
It was a little row of houses, with little squalid patches of ground before them, fenced off with old doors, barrel staves, scraps of tarpaulin, and dead bushes; with bottomless tin kettles and exhausted iron fenders, thrust into the gaps. Some were of opinion that Staggs's Gardens derived its name from a deceased capitalist, one Mr Staggs, who had built it for his delectation.
Staggs seemed uncomfortable under the Persimmon's protruding yellow stare, but finally, when the roustabout was gone, he shrugged, regained his aplomb, and remarked that some niggers spent their time in studyin' 'bout things they hadn't no info'mation on whatever. Then he strolled off up the crescent in the other direction.
I believe it is someone singing," he finally said, turning from the window. Early in the evening old Jasper Staggs received a visit from Zeb Sawyer, and inasmuch as the social exchanges between them had never been particularly marked, the old man was not a little surprised.
Who ever knew of so disgraceful and ridiculous a situation? It beats anything I ever heard of." "But it can be made all right," said old man Staggs. "Nobody's hurt." "We can get a divorce," Zeb Sawyer suggested. "Yes," said Lyman, "but our friends, the populists, have enacted rather peculiar divorce laws. And without some vital cause, the application must be signed by both parties.
There we passed the winter & learned the particularitie that since wee saw by Experience. Heere I will not make a long discours during that time, onely made good cheere & killed staggs, Buffes, Elends, and Castors. The Christinos had skill in that game above the rest. The snow proved favourable that yeare, which caused much plenty of every thing.
Jim Pink Staggs jerked off his fur cap, made a gesture, contorted his long, black face into a caricature of fright, and came loping across the street, looking back over his shoulder, mimicking a run for life His mummery set his audience howling.
Upon the ladies he would smile and throw off vague hints of future silks and fineries. One evening this coterie gathered at the home of Jasper Staggs. Old Jasper, in his earlier days, had been a town marshal, and it was his boast that he had arrested Steve Day, the desperado who had choked the sheriff and defied the law.
They played about Arkwright, the Captain, Cissie, his mother's death, Tump Pack in prison, the quarrel between the Persimmon and Jim Pink Staggs. The whole of Niggertown came rushing down upon him, seizing him in its passion and dustiness and greasiness, putting to flight all his cultivated white-man ideas. After half an hour's searching he gave it up.
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