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Updated: May 22, 2025
It remains therefore to pray for you strongly that you may be filled with a knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding quite up to the mark of "rejoicing alway," for this is the will of God concerning us.... The verse that brings me soonest to the self-despair point is this: "Herein is love with us made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, because as He is, so are we in this world"; the standpoint of "workers together with God" is a strong one "it lifts, it bears my drooping soul."
'Out of the depths have I cried unto Thee. The zenith, which is the highest point in the sky above us, is always just as far aloft as the nadir, which is the lowest point in the sky at the Antipodes, is beneath us. Your faith is measured by your self-despair. Further, why is it that I must have faith in order to get God's power at work in me?
God wants us to recognise that fact as true in our experience, so that in true brokenness and self-despair we shall allow Jesus Christ to be our righteousness and holiness and all in all and that is victory. Making God a Liar! Now in face of God's description of the human heart, we can see what it was that the Pharisee did.
Longing for guidance and teaching, and never having been taught to guide and teach itself, it is but too likely to deliver itself up in self-despair to the guidance and teaching of those who, whether they be quacks or fanatics, look on uneducated women as their natural prey.
How the Jew was able to preserve it in any one of its forms is one of the many miracles of his history, seeing that the world has left nothing untried to cast the Jews backward to the last depth of self-despair. An exhibition of his forwardness might be seen at the doors of the public schools in the lower districts of the city, notably at the time of admission of new pupils.
Faith and self-despair are the upper and the under sides of the same thing, like some cunningly-woven cloth, the one side bearing a different pattern from the other, and yet made of the same yarn, and the same threads passing from the upper to the under sides. So faith and self-distrust are but two names for one composite whole.
But to be willing to be nothing in the sight of God, to live in an entire abandonment, in utter self-despair, to give themselves to Him when they are the most discouraged, to leave themselves in His hands, and not to look at self when they are on the very edge of the abyss; it is this that is so rare, and it is this which constitutes perfect abandonment.
And thus, after all your other opportunities and ordinances of humility are embraced and exhausted, then the plunges, the depths, the abysses of humility that God will open up in your own heart will all work in you a meetness for heaven and a ripeness for its glory, that shall for ever reward you for all that degradation and shame and self-despair which have been to you the sure way and the only way to everlasting life.
But Mr. Tryan, she says, is dead; and she describes the simple gravestone in Milby churchyard. 'But, she adds, 'there is another memorial of Edgar Tryan, which bears a fuller record; it is Janet Dempster, rescued from self-despair, strengthened with Divine hopes, and now looking back on years of purity and helpful labor.
I am standing before you now in the character of one who, having been brought under conviction of sin into utter self-despair, had found in Christ Jesus a refuge from the storm of God's anger.
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