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Updated: May 12, 2025
"Rubbish!" exclaimed the Ambassador, dragging him along, "it doesn't hurt me!" "Oh! oh! I've dropped one of my gloves," cried the Dodo, pathetically. "If you take my advice, you'll throw the other one away, too," said the Ambassador; "it will only make the Little Panjandrum more angry than ever to see them." "They make me look so respectable," whispered the Dodo.
His house was to be seized on the mortgage, and he was to move to the poorhouse next day. You never see a man more surprised or worse cut up. Him to the poorhouse? HIM one of the oldest families on the Cape? You'd think he was the Grand Panjandrum. Well, the dignity didn't work, so he commenced on the lumbago; and that didn't work, neither. But do you think he give up the ship?
"Certainly not," said Dick; "but who is the Ki-Wi, please?" "Oh, he's the Court Messenger," explained the Sage, "and is the only one here allowed to enter the Court of the Little Panjandrum without permission." "Go and fetch him," he continued. "Let me look at it," said the Sage, holding out his hand for the paper. "Why, no wonder it won't act for the gnomes," he exclaimed, when he had read it.
"H'm! that remains to be seen," said the Ambassador, pursing his lips up tightly, and staring at the Dodo severely. "Come along," he continued, catching hold of what would have been the Dodo's ear if he had had one, but which was in reality a sort of woolly fluff growing all over his head. "Come along, and see your friend the Little Panjandrum." "Leave go!" screamed the Dodo, "you hurt."
The prehistoric creatures were scrambling through the water, and getting as far away as possible on to the islands in the middle of the lake. "All you Palæotheriums, Eterædariums, Archæopteryx, Megatheriums, Pleisiosauruses, Ichthyosauruses, and other prehistoric wretches, in the name of the Panjandrum, I command you be turned into stone."
"Dumflopety golopegee gal popo sum delopotomex," remarked the Little Panjandrum, as he walked away, escorted by his retinue. "He says that your 'hard labor' sentence is, to carry the State Umbrella in future, and that you are to commence your duties in one hour from now; in the meantime you may consider yourself at liberty till then."
But one of them had lost one eye in the fight, and so we seized him and made off, leaving the other to snap his tongs together in anger because he had nobody to pinch. It must be a dreadful thing to want to hurt somebody and have nobody to hurt. When we had gone some distance, we came to a gate that had a very curious sign over it. It read, "The Great Panjandrum Himself."
I can't keep it up any longer," fell to the ground, and everybody else put their leg down again. "Ough!" said the Ambassador, in a disgusted voice. "Of course, you must needs spoil it all. Most disrespectful behavior to the Little Panjandrum, I call it." "I couldn't help it," gasped the Dodo, apologetically. "Oh, of course not," said the Ambassador. "A bad excuse is better than none."
Together they took them into the house, and a Joblily came out in a moment to tell us that the Great Panjandrum was having his little round button-at-the-top brushed up, and that if we chose we could wait for him in the museum. The museum was a queer place. It was just inside the seventy-seventh gable of the house. There was an old Garuly who acted as showman.
If you must know, the Grand Panjandrum came and catched him talking to Squeezums, hanging over the bulwarks together." "Talking to who?" "Well then, to Teapot, old Chinese Ching, and snubbed him for having the Yellow-skin so far aft. Didn't he, Gnat?" "Yes," I said, quite truthfully. "Then I say it's too bad," cried Smith. "As the snob speakers say, are we er serlaves?
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