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I mane to give the boys a holiday for the sake of this honest and respectable gintleman in the frize jock, who is not entirely ignorant, you persave, of litherature; and we had a small taste, gintlemen, among ourselves, of Sathurnalian licentiousness, ut ita dicam, in regard of hem! in regard of this lad here, who was dancing a hornpipe upon the door, and we, in absence of betther music, had to supply him with the harmony; but, as your honors know, gintlemen, the greatest men have bent themselves on espacial occasions."
"Ah," replied the man of letters, "thigum, thigum. 'Tis a badge of polite genius, that no boy need be ashamed of. So my young suckling of litherature, you're bound for Munster? for that counthry where the swallows fly in conic sections where the magpies and the turkey's confab in Latin, and the cows and bullocks will roar you Doric Greek bo-a-o clamo.
"Oh, indeed, they are very throublesome," says Larry, "and are the litherary gintlemen, sir, as you call them, mostly that way?" "To be sure; it is that which makes a litherary man: his head is full teems with creation, sir." "Dear, dear!" said Larry. "And when once the itch of litherature comes over a man, nothing can cure it but the scratching of a pen."
"A Bacon, shining in the darkness of our age; fild wid the pure end lambent flame of science, burning with the gorrgeous scintillations of divine litherature a monumintum, in fact, are perinnius, bound in pink calico, six shillings a vollum." "This wigmawole," said Mr. I need not say, gentlemen sir that is, Mr.
Oh ay, 'John Campion's' right enough." "I niver heard of any such a thrade as polymatherin'," said his son-in-law; "would it be anythin' in the pedlarin' line?" "Is it pedlarin'?" said old O'Beirne, "and he that took up wid larnin' and litherature he couldn't ha' tould you the price of a pinny loaf.
Cavanagh, my classicality tells me, that the poet Maro blundered like a Hibernian, when he made the same fame a trumpeter, in which, wid the exception of one point, he was completely out of keeping. There's not in all litherature another instance of a female trumpeter; and for sound raisons if the fair sex were to get possession of the tuba, God help the world, for it would soon be a noisy one.
"Gintlemen classics, I have been now twenty-six years engaged in the propagation of Latin and Greek litherature, in conjunction wid mathematics, but never, until yesterday, has my influence been spurned; never, until yesterday, have sacrilegious hands been laid upon my person; never, until yesterday, have I been kicked insidiously, ungallantly, and treacherously kicked by my own subjects.
Turning to me, the bearded man said, "Did ye ever hear the pome about Saint Patrick's birthday?" I regretfully admitted that the masterpiece in question had escaped my research, but pleaded in extenuation that I came from England, where the rudiments of polite larnin' and the iliments of Oirish litherature have not yet permeated the barbarian population. Barbatus then recited as follows:
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