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Updated: May 17, 2025
Howandiver, wishing I was like them, in regard ov the sup ov dhrink, anyhow, I must brake off my norration for the prisint; but when I see you again, I'll tell you how Father Tom made a hare ov the Pope that evening, both in theology and the cube root. Well, the lecther's over, and I'm kilt out and out. My bitther curse be upon the man that invinted the same Boord!
Howandiver, if it's for a taste ov classic conwersation you are, jist to put us in mind ov ould Cordarius," says he, "here's at you." And wid that he lets fly at his Holiness wid his health in Latin. "Vesthræ Sanctitatis salutem volo," says he. "Here's to you wid the same," says the Pope, in the raal Ciceronian. "Nunc poculum alterhum imple," says he.
Howandiver he thried to pick a hole in it this way.
Howandiver, there's no fast on the dhrink, anyhow, glory be to God! and so, as they wor sitting, afther dinner, taking their sup together, says the Pope, says he, "Thomaus," for the Pope, you know, spakes that away, and all as one as ov uz, "Thomaus a lanna," says he, "I'm tould you welt them English heretics out ov the face." "You may say that," says his Riv'rence to him again.
He did not simply confine himself to singing his carols, but, during the pauses of the melody, addressed the wondering and attentive crowd as follows: "Good Christians This is the day howandiver, it's night now, Glory be to God that the angel Lucifer appeared to Shud'orth, Meeshach, an' To-bed-we-go, in the village of Constantinople, near Jerooslem.
"Are you foolish, Kody? Do you think he could live widout him?" "Well, I b'lieve not. Throth, whenever the ould fellow goes in the next world, there'll be no keepin' Jemmy from him. Howandiver, to dhrop that. Isn't these poor times, Charley, an' isn't this a poor counthry to live in or it would be nearer the truth to say starve in?" "No, but it would be the truth itself," replied the other.
"I beg your pardon," says his Riv'rence, "that's not the cork at all," says he; "I dhrew the cork a good two minits ago, and it's very purtily spitted on the end ov this blessed corkshcrew at this prisint moment; howandiver you can't see it, because it's only its real prisince that's in it.
Howandiver, do you go an; but, naboklish! what'll ye have?" "'Jig Polthouge, Barny: but on your wrist ma bouchal, or Katty will lave us both ut o' sight in no time. Whoo! success! clear the coorse. Well done, Barny! That's the go." When the youngsters had danced for some time, the fathers and mothers of the village were called upon "to step out."
May I never die if my head isn't as throughother, as anything wid their ordinals and cardinals, and, begad, it's all nothing to the econimy lecthir that I have to go to at two o'clock. Howandiver, I mustn't forget that we left his Riv'rence and his Holiness sitting fornenst one another in the parlor ov the Vatican, jist afther mixing their second tumbler.
"But who knows it, an' feels it as I do?" said Art, "or who has the right either? howandiver, as I said, something must be done; Owen, will you venture to give me employment?
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