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Updated: June 17, 2025
This singular man, who strangely enough was wearing one of his most effulgent and heterogeneous club neckties, had begun by dancing. He danced with all three ladies, one after the other; and he did not merely dance he danced modernly, he danced the new dances to the new tunes, given off like intoxicating gas from the latest of gramophones.
But what awful things happen to us? what snubs, what set-downs we experience, what shames and disillusions. We can never really tell what these new unknown persons may do to us. Sometimes they seem nice, and then begin to talk like gramophones. Sometimes they grab at us with moist hands, or breathe hotly on our necks, or make awful confidences, or drench us from sentimental slop-pails.
As she hung up the receiver, the ferryman asked: "Are you having a party up at the Shop, in the superintendent's absence?" "Not intentionally," replied Sarah Brown. "Why?" "Well, I just wondered. There's a noise like a thousand mad gramophones playing backwards, coming from there." Sarah Brown's misgivings returned like a clap of thunder. She rushed back to the Shop.
His brains live in a black tent, and he keeps 'em encouraged with French and English books bought in Jerusalem silk stockings gramophones all kinds of things." "What is she a Turk? I've heard some of them are educated nowadays." "No. And she never was a Turk.
Civilisation is a word which, with us, is often misused and often misunderstood. Sometimes we lightly identify it with motor cars and gramophones and other Western contrivances with which individual traders and travellers dazzle and bewilder the untutored savage.
They entered a musical instrument shop, and diverted themselves, naturally enough, with gramophones and mouth-organs and trumpets and violins. But, unnaturally, with just a devilish mirth, they had then smashed all these things into twisted metal and broken strings. In one cottage an old man and woman, among the few inhabitants who remained, told me their story.
It sounded as if a hundred wound-up gramophones had been placed in his room, and all of them, one after another, were shouting with idiotic repetition the words they had been made to shout: "At one o'clock in the afternoon, your Excellency!"
As I followed the others into a restaurant winter garden affair, five minutes after our arrival, I was delighted to hear several small gramophones already playing "Bric-a-brac" and other selections from musical comedies, each insisting that its was the only tune worth listening to.
As it swished into the glass, it made a noise that seemed to him like three hundred Niagaras; but nobody else in the house appeared to have noticed it. He took some more biscuits, and an apple. After which, feeling a new man, he examined the room. And this was where the trouble began. On a table in one corner stood a small gramophone. And gramophones happened to be Mike's particular craze.
Not the vision popular just then: a soaring whirl of machinery in motion, of moving pavements and flying omnibuses; of screaming gramophones and standardized "homes": a city where Electricity was King and man its soulless slave.
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