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Updated: June 17, 2025
Penalize them in the way I am suggesting and they would flaunt their nationality in our faces; they would wear Union-jack waistcoats and carry in their pockets gramophones which played 'God save the King' when you touched them.
Then we mutually detested gramophones. Stevenson once said, 'Marriage is not a bed of roses; it is a field of battle. At the epoch of which I write Henry and I had not got to turning machine-guns on each other. At the most we only had diplomatic unpleasantnesses. The position, however, was getting strained.
"These big concerns are offering all sorts of attractions to the shopping public which we couldn't afford to imitate, even on a small scale reading-rooms and play-rooms and gramophones and Heaven knows what. People don't care to buy half a pound of sugar nowadays unless they can listen to Harry Lauder and have the latest Australian cricket scores ticked off before their eyes.
"Because those things they advertise homework, envelope addressing, or selling gramophones on commission they're no good, you know!" He shuddered. The next morning he bought a 36 x 24 canvas, and more brushes and tubes, and surreptitiously introduced them into the attic. Happily it was the charwoman's day and Alice was busy enough to ignore him.
The fire flung its banners across the sky, a vast lighting up for them, under which they went about the business of living. At intervals, booming through the sounds of their habitation, came the dynamite explosions blowing up the city in blocks. When the muffled roar was over, the gathering quiet was pierced by the thin, high notes of gramophones.
In the present day telephones, heliographs, gramophones, bicycles, motor-cars, guns, fireworks, and the latest inventions of all kinds find their way into Morocco. In return the staple Moorish offering has always been, and still is, Arab horses, with richly embroidered saddles and bridles. It is impossible to estimate the strength of the Moorish army.
As regards games and recreations, the prisoners are interested only in wrestling, cards and dominoes. They have been introduced to football without success. Some have shown great skill in the manufacture of mandolines, guitars, and tambourines. All materials as well as games are provided gratis by the British Government. The camp commandant has bought the men some gramophones.
Before the end of the afternoon Aunt Elizabeth was not far from tears. "It isn't cutlery we want. I told the man that it was saucepans. They pay us no attention at all. You aren't any help to me, Maggie." They arrived in a room filled with performing gramophones. This was the final blow. Aunt Elizabeth, trembling all over, refused either to advance or retreat.
And all the poor people are inspected and rushed about until they forget who their grandfathers were. They become villa parasites and odd-job men, and grow basely rich and buy gramophones. This Essex and yonder Surrey are as different as Russia and Germany. But for one American who comes to look at Essex, twenty go to Godalming and Guildford and Dorking and Lewes and Canterbury.
"Mine's got to be," said Bert. "I've HAD dogs that aren't deaf. All I want. It's like this, you see I sell gramophones. Naturally I got to make 'em talk and tootle a bit to show 'em orf. Well, a dog that isn't deaf doesn't like it gets excited, smells round, barks, growls. That upsets the customer. See? Then a dog that has his hearing fancies things. Makes burglars out of passing tramps.
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