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Updated: June 24, 2025
"Indeed!" said Miss Flouncer, undulating to me, with a benignant smile. "Yes, madam," said I. "Now observe another side of this picture."
I would that ladies and gentlemen knew this better, and felt that they have a positive duty incumbent on them in regard to these societies, for they are not local but national. "Now, madam," said I, again addressing myself pointedly to Miss Flouncer, "would you like to hear a few interesting facts in reference to the objects of this Society?"
He did indeed read his prayers in church on Sundays, in a very loud and distinct voice, to the great annoyance and distraction, not to say irritation, of all who sat within fifty yards of him, but this he regarded as a commendable institution of the country. But to return to Miss Flouncer.
"Now," continued Miss Flouncer, firmly, "before I become a subscriber to your society, Captain Bingley. I must be quite certain that it accomplishes much good, that it is worthy of support." Being somewhat fired by the doubt that was implied in this speech, I replied with warmth "My dear madam, nothing will gratify me more than to enlighten you."
In form she was swan-like, undulatory, so to speak. Her features were prononce; nose, aquiline; eyes, piercing; hair, black as night, and in long ringlets. Miss Flouncer was, as I have said, an elderly spinster. Sir Richard was an elderly bachelor. Miss Flouncer thought of this, and often sighed.
"Perhaps," interposed Miss Flouncer, "after such bright coruscations of wit, Mr Stuart may be allowed to go on with his " "Wittles," whispered Gildart in Miss Puff's ear, to the alarm of that young lady, who, being addicted to suppressed laughter, was in horror lest she should have a fit.
"Now, madam," said I, pointedly addressing Miss Flouncer, who had listened with rapt attention, "this circumstance happened before the existence of the Shipwrecked Mariners' Society, and similar cases happened frequently. In fact, the interior of our land was at that time constantly visited by shipwrecked sailors of this kind."
This state of affairs between Sir Richard and herself did not augur much for her prospects; but then she was a very strong-minded woman, and had hopes; whereas Sir Richard was a very weak-minded man, and had no hopes of any kind worth mentioning, being perfectly satisfied good, easy man with things as they then stood. Miss Martha Puff was niece to Miss Flouncer age apparently sixteen.
"Allowed to go on," repeated Miss Flouncer blandly, "with his tale of this unfortunate piece of good fortune, which I am sure Sir Richard is dying to hear." "It can hardly be called a tale," said Mr Stuart, "but it is a curious enough circumstance. You remember Stephen Gaff, Sir Richard?" "Perfectly. He is the man who appeared in the village of Cove rather mysteriously some months ago, is he not?"
You would be surprised if you knew how little I find it necessary to give away in charity in the course of the year." Miss Flouncer undulated at Sir Richard as she gave utterance to this noble sentiment, and Mrs Bingley applauded it to Mr Stuart, who took no notice of the applause, and indicated no opinion on the point whatever.
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