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Updated: May 5, 2025
Never had Miss Sally said so many good words for his rival. She had almost rebuffed his good offices in the attempt to sell the fire-extinguishers, and had praised Skinner to his face. Early the next morning he "dropped up" into the office of Attorney Toole, and as that young man lay back in his chair, with his feet on his desk, he told him the whole story. The attorney smiled.
And just you keep still about those fire-extinguishers. Between you and me, those are first-class nickel-plated lung-testers, and not fire-extinguishers. But that doesn't matter. There's just about as heavy a call for fire-extinguishers in Kilo as there is for lung-testers. Can you keep still about it?"
She laid before him all she knew of the affair of the fire-extinguishers, of the horror of the threatened legal attack on Miss Sally, and the disgrace that would overwhelm her should T. J. Jones publish an article mentioning her name. Eliph' Hewlitt must prevent the publication of the article; he must save Miss Sally. The book agent was willing.
The Colonel, mumbling, caught sight of him, and with one swift motion of the arm grasped him by the shirt band. "You!" he shouted, pulling the shirt band until Skinner grew purple in the face. "You! You done it! Why couldn't you buy them fire-extinguishers like a man? You made me buy up that Dutchman. I wouldn't 'a' had to do it but for you."
Bellboys, clerks, and waiters pelted with hand grenades its smoldering remains and squirted chemical fire-extinguishers upon it; but the Gasowashine's day was done. Its turbulent spirit had passed to another sphere.
Fire-hose old and rotten couldn't stand a hundred- pound pressure; fire-buckets and water-barrels empty, axes not in their proper places, fire-extinguishers filled with stale chemical why, the smallest kind of a fire here would get beyond our control with that man on the job. Besides, he's changed the grading-rules.
"I assure you I came here to recover; I'd heard it was the finest climate in England." "Recover?" "Yes, from fire-extinguishers. D'ye know I coughed for twenty-four hours after that reception?... And you should have seen my clothes! The doctor says my lungs may never get over it.... That's what comes of admiration." "It's what comes of behaving as no married man ought to behave."
"Fine!" he exclaimed. "Fine! I make me one boss grafter yet! Mister Skinner grafts me one roast beef and six pigs' feet. He ain't much liking those fire-extinguishers to have. How much more will you graft me now?" The Colonel looked the mayor squarely in the eye. "Stitz," he said, "I ain't goin' to run no auction with that there Skinner.
He clapped his greasy hat on his mat of hair and went out, pausing at the door to look back and grin at the attorney once more. Mr. Skinner was trimming a roast. He had just cut off a piece of suet, which he held in his plump read hand as he listened to the Colonel's proposition to sell him four nickel-plated fire-extinguishers at ten dollars each.
Miss Sally threw her arms around Mrs. Smith's waist and hit her face in the lacy softness of her gown, and wept. The authoress smoothed the brown hair and waited patiently for the tears to cease. "Did you see Mr. Toole?" she asked brightly, to ease Miss Sally's weeping and to turn her thought to other things. "He wanted to see you about those fire-extinguishers. But I don't trust him.
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