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Updated: June 27, 2025
Doubtless he took the priest at Eynhofen as an example, thinking that what he knew couldn't be hard to learn. Now Matthew was not exactly stupid; but he had no very good head for studying, and his pleasure in it was not immoderate either. When they told him that he was to become a priest, he was content, for the first thing he grasped was that he could then eat more and work less.
But they little knew the honored son of Eynhofen, Matthew Fottner by name, if they thought he would have anything to do with that sort of enterprise. He now had a fortune of five thousand marks; three thousand from the Bridge Farmer and two thousand from the special offering. With this capital he migrated to Switzerland and became a pastor in the Canton of Graubünden.
Corporal Fottner reflected that it woudn't be a bad life among the clerical gentlemen in Rome, better at any rate than in barracks under a captain who was so generous with the guard-house. So he agreed, and when his time was up at the close of the summer maneuvres, he went to Eynhofen and got in writing the Bridge Farmer's promise relative to the three thousand marks.
Matthew did not understand; nor did his father, who stood beside him. But the priest did not care for that. He only said it for the sake of his reputation, so that certain doubters might see that he was a learned gentleman. When folks talked about it in Eynhofen and told each other that Fottner's Matt could already talk Latin like a Roman, no one rejoiced more intensely than the Bridge Farmer.
For seven years old Fottner sat in his house, number eight in Eynhofen village, rejoicing over the future sanctity of his son; for seven years the inn-keeper kept figuring out in advance how many gallons of beer would be drunk at a first-class first-mass celebration; and for seven long years the Bridge Farmer went every month to the express office in Pettenbach and sent a postal money order to Roma, Collegio Germanico.
James the Apostle, the Reverend Licentiate Matthew Fottner would celebrate Holy Mass for the first time in Eynhofen. Then there was excitement and astonishment in the whole country round!
Because we know nothing for certain, and because the Almighty Judge perhaps thought differently about the lightning-rod oath, and did not observe the Eynhofen tradition. So he considered what and how much he must give in order to balance the account and make his merit outweigh his badness.
People grew old and gray; now there was a wedding and now a funeral; old Haberlschneider's house burned down, and Kloyber went bankrupt. Little events in Eynhofen grew in numbers just like the big ones out in the world. Until one day the priest the new priest, for the old one had died three years before announced from the chancel that on the 25th of July, the day of St.
But it was not so; Matthew thrived, became a priest subsequently, and weighed in his prime two hundred and fifty, and not a pound less. His choice of a clerical profession was unforeseen, and caused by nothing less than the pricks of conscience of the Upper-Bridge Farmer in Eynhofen. The same had much money, no children, and a grievous sin that weighed on his heart.
The remarkable fortunes of the Reverend Matthew Fottner of Eynhofen, Studiosus, Soldier, and later Pastor at Rappertswyl TRANSLATED BY BAYARD QUINCY MORGAN, PH.D. Assistant Professor of German, University of Wisconsin Whoso has six horses in the stable is a freeholder, and he sits next to the burgomaster in the tavern and is a burgess.
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