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Updated: April 30, 2025
Toole and the Keeper of the Water Goats stole silently from the room and out into the street. Fagan was the first to speak. "How was we t' know thim dongolas would soak in wather that way, Toole?" he said defensively. "How was we t' know they was not th' wather-proof kind of dongolas?" The little alderman from the Fourth Ward walked silently by the Keeper's side.
"Tim," he demanded, "has annything happened t' th' dongolas?" "Is annything happened t' th' dongolas!" exclaimed Fagan sarcastically. "Is annything wrong with thim water goats? Oh, no, Toole! Nawthin' has gone wrong with thim! Only they won't go into th' wather, Mike! Is annything gone wrong with thim, did ye say?
Zoo is getting too crowded with all kinds of animals and I don't need so many dongola goats. I will sell you two for fifty dollars. Apiece. What do you want them for? Your affectionate cousin, Dennis Toole, Zoo keeper. PS. Crates extra." "Casey," said Mike to his friend the saloon keeper when he received this communication, "'tis just as I told ye dongolas is goats.
He writes that his agints has their eyes on two fine dongolas, an' he has tiligraphed thim t' catch thim." "Are they near by, Mike?" asked Casey, much interested. "Naw," said Toole. "'Twill be some time till I git thim. Th' last he heard of thim they were swimmin' in th' Lake of Geneva." "Is it far, th' lake?" asked Casey. "I disremimber how far," said Toole.
"Ya!" said the alderman unsuspectingly, "gifing such a forgetfulness on such easy things as dongolas." "Sure! You tell Dugan what dongolas is, Grevemeyer," said Toole quickly. Grevemeyer looked at his glass thoughtfully. His mind worked slowly always, but he saw that it would not do for him to have knock-out drops so soon after Toole. "Ach!" he exclaimed angrily.
Many's th' time I have seen me old father soakin' th' young dongolas t' limber thim up for swimmin'. 'If iver ye have to do with dongolas, Mike, he used t' say t' me, 'soak thim well firrst. So I soaked thim, an' 'tis none of me fault, nor Fagan's either, that they soaked full o' wather. First-class dongolas is wather-proof, as iveryone knows, Dugan, an' how was we t' know thim two was not?
"Th' mind of him might be ruined intirely." "Stop, Dugan!" said Toole hastily. "I forgive him. Me mind will likely be all right by mornin'. 'Tis purty good yit, ixcipt on th' subjict of dongolas. I'm timporarily out of remimbrance what dongolas is. 'Tis odd how thim knock-out drops works, Grevemeyer."
What in th' worrld made ye soak thim dongolas?" "Dugan," pleaded Toole, laying his hand on the big mayor's arm. "Dugan, old man, don't look at me that way. There was nawthin' else t' do but soak thim dongolas.
For I call t' mind now that me father always varnished th' dongolas before he soaked thim overnight. 'Take no chances, Mike, he used t' say t' me, 'always varnish thim firrst. Some of thim is rubbery an' will not soak up wather, but some is spongy, an' 'tis best t' varnish one an' all of thim." "Think of that now!" exclaimed Fagan with admiration.
"'Tis in Africa or Asia, or mebby 'tis in Constantinople. Wan of thim countries it is, annyhow." But to his cousin Dennis he wrote: "Dear Dennis I will take them two dongolas. Crate them good and solid. Do not send them till I tell you. Send the bill to me. Your affectionate cousin alderman Michael Toole. Ps Make bill for two hundred dollars a piece. Business is business. This is between us two.
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