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Updated: May 22, 2025
"Smashed!" was the general outcry. "I ran slap into him," said the gentleman. "Who the deuce! no bones broken, that's one thing. The fellow there, look at him: he's like a glass tortoise." "It's a chiwal glass," Crickledon remarked, and laid finger on the star in the centre. "Gentleman ran slap into me," said Crummins, depositing the frame on the floor of the shop.
As when upon an enforced visit to the dentist, people have had one tooth out, the remaining offenders are more willingly submitted to the operation, insomuch that a poetical licence might hazard the statement that they shed them like leaves of the tree, so Crummins, who had shrunk from speech, now volunteered whole sentences in succession, and how important they were deemed by his fellow-townsman, Mr.
"Smashed!" was the general outcry. "I ran slap into him," said the gentleman. "Who the deuce! no bones broken, that's one thing. The fellow there, look at him: he's like a glass tortoise." "It's a chiwal glass," Crickledon remarked, and laid finger on the star in the centre. "Gentleman ran slap into me," said Crummins, depositing the frame on the floor of the shop.
In the doorway stood a bearded gentleman, who announced himself with the startling exclamation, "Here's a pretty pickle!" and bustled to make way for a man well known to them as Ned Crummins, the upholsterer's man, on whose back hung an article of furniture, the condition of which, with a condensed brevity of humour worthy of literary admiration, he displayed by mutely turning himself about as he entered.
"Standing?" he cried; and as the act of standing was really not extraordinary, he fixed upon the suit: "Court?" "So Mrs. Cavely told me, it was what he was standin' in, and as I found 'm I left 'm," said Crummins. "He's standing in it now?" said Mr. Van Diemen Smith, with a great gape. Crummins doggedly repeated the statement.
I saw him walk up to the glass, and walk back from the glass. And when he'd got up to the glass he bowed, he did, and he went back'ards just so." Doubtless the presence of a lady was the active agent that prevented Crummins from doubling his body entirely, and giving more than a rapid indication of the posture of Mr. Tinman in his retreat before the glass.
"Say what's uppermost, Ned; never mind how you says it. English is English. Mr. Tinman sent for you to take the glass away, now, did n't he?" "He did," said Crummins. "And you went to him." "Ay, that I did." "And he fastened the chiwal glass upon your back" "He did that." "That's all plain sailing. Had he bought the glass?" "No, he had n't bought it. He'd hired it."
"Why, it was me calling, 'I'm sure I can't see the way. "You heard me, you donkey!" retorted the bearded gentleman. "What was the good of your turning that glass against me in the very nick when I dashed on you?" "Well, 't ain't my fault, I swear," said Crummins. "The wind catches voices so on a pitch dark night, you never can tell whether they be on one shoulder or the other.
I'll send my card across to Mart Tinman to-morrow, and set him agog at his breakfast." Mr. Van Diemen Smith waved his hand for Crickledon to lead the way. Hereupon Ned Crummins looked up from the card he had been turning over and over, more and more like one arriving at a condemnatory judgment of a fish. "I can't go and give my master a card instead of his glass," he remarked.
"Say what's uppermost, Ned; never mind how you says it. English is English. Mr. Tinman sent for you to take the glass away, now, did n't he?" "He did," said Crummins. "And you went to him." "Ay, that I did." "And he fastened the chiwal glass upon your back" "He did that." "That's all plain sailing. Had he bought the glass?" "No, he had n't bought it. He'd hired it."
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