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Updated: June 4, 2025
Why, the aboriginal bipeds, to be sure, he answered, the red-crayon sketch of humanity laid on the canvas before the colors for the real manhood were ready. I hope they will come to something yet, said the divinity-student. Irreclaimable, Sir, irreclaimable! said the Little Gentleman. Cheaper to breed white men than domesticate a nation of red ones.
"Well, did you have a happy hunt? Was your herb gathering a success?" "Yes, captain," I replied, "but unfortunately we've brought back a horde of bipeds whose proximity worries me." "What sort of bipeds?" "Savages." "Savages!" Captain Nemo replied in an ironic tone. "You set foot on one of the shores of this globe, professor, and you're surprised to find savages there? Where aren't there savages?
Women to-day may prove themselves quite capable of doing, and permanently, the work of men in ammunition and munition factories, but it is patent that when human bipeds first groped their way about the terrifying Earth, she was not equal to the task of leveling forests, killing the beasts that roamed them, hurling spears in savage warfare, and bearing many children for many years.
The main trail in that town which they call Broadway is plenty travelled, but they're about the same brand of bipeds that tramp around in Cheyenne and Amarillo, At first I was sort of rattled by the crowds, but I soon says to myself, 'Here, now, Bud; they're just plain folks like you and Geronimo and Grover Cleveland and the Watson boys, so don't get all flustered up with consternation under your saddle blanket, and then I feels calm and peaceful, like I was back in the Nation again at a ghost dance or a green corn pow-wow.
At such an assemblage, the list of toasts will probably include Eclipse, Cotherstone, Mameluke, Plenipo, the Flying Dutchman, and other illustrious quadrupeds, along with certain bipeds, distinguished in the second degree as breeders, trainers, and riders, and may perhaps culminate in "the turf and the stud all over the world."
These distinctions correct the illusions of immediate appearance in ways which only a long and special experience has imposed upon us, and they should not be imported into other souls. We are old men trying to sing the loves of children; we are wingless bipeds trying to understand the gods.
Tell me, girl, have you not seen certain bipeds, called men, wandering about the prairies?" "Surely. My uncle and his sons have been hunting the buffaloe, since the sun began to fall." "I must speak in the vernacular, to be comprehended. Ellen, I would say of the species, Kentucky." Though Ellen reddened like the rose, her blushes were concealed by the darkness.
Our highest virtues appear, in the last analysis, as blind, impulsive instincts. What subjects for canonization and apotheosis! There is, however, a difference between us two-handed bipeds and other living creatures what is it?
Lest the fact of Miss Miggs calling him, on whom she stooped to cast a favourable eye, a boy, should create surprise in any breast, it may be observed that she invariably affected to regard all male bipeds under thirty as mere chits and infants; which phenomenon is not unusual in ladies of Miss Miggs's temper, and is indeed generally found to be the associate of such indomitable and savage virtue.
The way in which those swans behaved was quite marvellous. They dodged the blows aimed at them, and "jinked" round the bushes as if they had been trained to such work in a regular public school for human bipeds, and they struck out with their pinions, too, so deftly and with such force that the pursuers had to become extremely cautious as well as bold in their approaches.
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