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And Sponge shortly after sent Spraggon a five pound note as his share of the transaction. When Mr. Puffington read Messrs. Sponge and Spraggon's account of the run with his hounds, in the Swillingford paper, he was perfectly horrified; words cannot describe the disgust that he felt.
'A put-off, for a guinea! exclaimed his lordship. 'Hope so, muttered Jack. 'Hope not, replied his lordship. 'It is! exclaimed Jack, reading, 'Dear Mr. Spraggon, and so on. 'The humbug! muttered Lord Scamperdale, adding, 'I'll be bound he's got no more influenza than I have.
Though his lordship lived so much by himself he was neither gauche nor stupid when he went into society. Unlike Mr. Spraggon, he had a tremendous determination of words to the mouth, and went best pace with his tongue instead of coughing and hemming, and stammering and stuttering wishing himself 'well out of it, as the saying is.
'Me! exclaimed Sponge; 'bless your heart, man, I can't write anything nothing fit to print, at least. 'Hout, fiddle! retorted Spraggon, 'you can write as well as any other man; see what lots of fellows write, and nobody ever finds fault. 'But the spellin' bothers one, replied Sponge, with a shake of his elbow and body, as if the idea was quite out of the question.
Spraggon, &c.; but, as my lord's right-hand man, Jack carried a certain weight, and commanded a certain influence, that he would never have acquired of himself. First he had it 'Dear Sir, which he thought looked too stiff; then he had it 'My dear Sir, which he thought looked too loving; next he had it 'Dear Spraggon, which he considered as too familiar; and then he tried 'Dear Mr.
Best of all, Lady Scamperdale has got his lordship to erect a handsome marble monument to poor Jack, instead of the cheap country stone he intended. The inscription states that it was erected by Samuel, Eighth Earl of Scamperdale, and Viscount Hardup, in the Peerage of Ireland, to the Memory of John Spraggon, Esquire, the best of Sportsmen, and the firmest of Friends.
Sponge, now looking round on his big-spectacled, flat-hatted lordship, who was closely followed by his double, Mr. Spraggon. 'Not my hounds! screeched his lordship. 'Oh, ye barber's apprentice! Oh, ye draper's assistant! Oh ye unmitigated Mahomedon! Sing out, Jack! sing out! For Heaven's sake, sing out! added he, throwing out his arms in perfect despair.
Sponge continued, 'was an undeniable good 'un, and he wished Mr. Pacey joy of his bargain. This venture having been so successful, others attempted similar means, appointing Mr. Spraggon the arbitrator. Captain Guano challenged Mr. Fogo's phaeton, while Mr. Fogo retaliated upon the captain's chestnut horse; but the captain did not hold money to the award. Blossomnose challenged Mr.
Spraggon was a sort of volunteer, at all events an undesired guest, unless his lordship accompanied him. It so happened that the least wanted guest was the first to arrive on the all-important day.
'HOLD HARD, sir! roared he, as, yawning and boring and shaking his head, Parvo dashed through the now yelping scattered pack, making straight for a stiff new gate, which he smashed through, just as a circus pony smashes through a paper hoop. 'Hoo-ray! shouted Jack Spraggon, on seeing the hounds were safe. 'Hoo-ray for the tailor!
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