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Updated: May 6, 2025
Buckingham, that complaisant companion of "the merry monarch," who, "everything by turns and nothing long," having been the first to observe the impression the mignonne maid-of-honour had made on the King's susceptible fancy, had little hesitation in attaching to his diplomatic office the very undignified one of Sir Pandarus, and therefore with a brave defiance of decorum bent all his efforts to overcome the scruples, if any there might be, lingering in the mind of Louise with regard to transferring herself to the service of the Queen of England, poor Catherine of Braganza.
Cressida, who is sent to her father Calchas, in the Greek camp, in a day becomes "the sluttish spoil of opportunity," and of Diomede, and the comedy praised by the preface-writer of a quarto of 1609, is a squalid tragedy reeking of Thersites and Pandarus, of a light o' love, and the base victory of cruel cowardice over knightly Hector.
"I was staying in Florence, and was living very quietly, and all I indulged in, in the way of adventures, was to listen occasionally to the immoral proposals with which every stranger is beset at night on the Piazzo de la Signoria, by some worthy Pandarus or other, with a head like that of a venerable priest.
Story of Pandarus. Æneas rescued by his mother. Her magic vail. Venus is wounded. Iris conveys her away. Single combat between Æneas and Achilles. The charmed life of Achilles. His shield. The meeting of Æneas and Achilles on the field. The harangues of the combatants. The battle begun. Narrow escape. Sudden termination of the combat. The tales of the Æneid.
'I have thought myself of a reason against it, the Dauphin said quickly, yet with a flutter of timidity. 'This man's name is Saint-Pol. Richard grew bleak in a moment. 'That, he said, 'is why I shall kill him. He seeks to drive us to marriage. Injurious beast! His name is Pandarus. Then he left the Dauphin and shut himself up until the day of battle.
There are other warriors taller by a head, and Odysseus was shorter than he by a head, so Agamemnon was a man of middle stature. He is "beautiful and royal" of aspect; "a good king and a mighty spearman," says Helen. The interrupted duel between Menelaus and Paris follows, and then the treacherous wounding of Menelaus by Pandarus.
And more will follow, when that lady's brother, furious Francesco Maria della Rovere, shall stab the bravo in torch-litten palace rooms with twenty poignard strokes 'twixt waist and throat, and their Pandarus shall be sent down to his account by a varlet's coltellata through the midriff.
As soon as Pandarus saw what had happened, he hurled a spear with mighty force at the Rutulian king, eager to avenge his brother's death, but Juno turning the weapon aside, it struck into the gate, where it remained fixed. Then Turnus slew Pandarus with a swift stroke of his sword, exclaiming, "Not so shall you escape."
It may not here be fair to particularize further than in the way of avowing my unmitigated contempt for the exploits of highwaymen, swindlers, men about town, and ladies of the pavé. I protest against gilding crimes, and palliating follies. Serve the public tables with better food, good Pandarus.
As reverend Chaucer says. HOST. Sir, you mistake; To play Sir Pandarus, my copy hath it, And carry messages to Madam Cressid; Instead of backing the brave steed o'mornings.
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