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Updated: June 9, 2025


AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. And don't you dare give me any of your lip! I won't give you my mother's blessing. The same and LÁZAR, RISPOLÓZHENSKY, and FOMÍNISHNA in the doorway. RISPOLÓZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Samsón Sílych! How do you do, my dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna! Olimpiáda Samsónovna, how do you do! BOLSHÓV. How are you, old man, how are you! Do us the favor to sit down.

But if, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, you should marry me, ma'am here's the first word: you'll wear silk gowns even at home, and visiting, and to the theatre, ma'am and we shan't dress you in anything but velvets. In respect to hats and cloaks we won't care what's in style with the nobility, but we'll furnish you the finest ever!

Knowing you, sir, as I do, like my own father, and Olimpiáda Samsónovna, sir; and again, knowing myself for what I'm worth what chance have I with my calico snout, sir? BOLSHÓV. Calico nothing. Your snout'll do! So long as you have brains in your head and you don't have to borrow any; because God has endowed you in that way.

AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA goes out. LÍPOCHKA and PODKHALYÚZIN Silence PODKHALYÚZIN. Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am! Olimpiáda Samsónovna! I suppose you abominate me? Say only one word, ma'am! Just let me kiss your little hand! LÍPOCHKA. You blockhead, you ignorant lout! PODKHALYÚZIN. But why, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, do you want to insult me, ma'am?

Hooray, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! You've treated me fine! Your little hand, please! Enter TISHKA with the pipe. TISHKA. Ustinya Naúmovna has come. PODKHALYÚZIN. What the devil is she here for! TISHKA goes out. The same and USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How are you managing to live, my jewels? PODKHALYÚZIN. Thanks to your prayers, Ustinya Naúmovna, thanks to your prayers.

But if you want to have a heart-to-heart talk, honor bright, ma'am; then here's the sort of thing it is, ma'am: at my house there's a certain Russian merchant I know, who is very much in love with Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am. "No matter what I have to give," says he, "so long as I get married," says he; "I shan't grudge any sum."

Don't forget us poor prisoners. PODKHALYÚZIN. Ah! Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am! How awkward, ma'am! I pity your father, by heaven I pity him, ma'am! Hadn't I better go myself and compound with his creditors? Don't you think I'd better, ma'am? Yet he himself will soften them better. Ah! Or shall I go? I'll go, ma'am! Tishka! OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Do just as you please it's your business.

OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. All sorts both woollens and silks; not long ago I had a crape made with gold trimmings. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. How much have you, all-in-all, my jewel?

What are you laughing and stretching your mouth at? PODKHALYÚZIN. You haven't gone out for a stroll with your mug in a sable cloak yet, have you? OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA brings in a dress and hands it to USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. The same and OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. What in the world is the matter with you; do you want to rob me, maybe? PODKHALYÚZIN. Rob you, nothing!

OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. They've brought me a new cloak; you and I ought to go Friday to Sokolniki. PODKHALYÚZIN. Of course, most certainly we'll go, ma'am; and we'll drive in the park on Sundays. You see our carriage is worth a thousand rubles, and the horses a thousand, and the harness mounted with silver just let 'em look! Tishka!

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