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Updated: May 26, 2025
"There she is, the chance in a million!" he cried. "A steamer at that, heading straight for us! By George, it's a cruiser! I have it! the Annapolis, returning with those astronomers from Tutuwanga." United States Consul Lingford was a fussy, elderly gentleman, and in the two years of his service at Attu-Attu had never encountered so unprecedented a case as that laid before him by Boyd Duncan.
The latter, with his wife, had been landed there by the Annapolis, which had promptly gone on with its cargo of astronomers to Fiji. "It was cold-blooded, deliberate attempt to murder," said Consul Lingford. "The law shall take its course. I don't know how precisely to deal with this Captain Dettmar, but if he comes to Attu-Attu, depend upon it he shall be dealt with, he ah shall be dealt with.
Consul Lingford bobbed around in the turmoil like a wet hen, while his office furniture went to ruin. Once, he caught Duncan by the arm, but was flung back, gasping, half-across the room. Another time he appealed to Minnie. "Mrs. Duncan, won't you, please, please, restrain your husband?" But she, white-faced and trembling, resolutely shook her head and watched the fray with all her eyes.
He ought to have had something when the last ministry was in, for Aunt Clara and Lord Lingford are cousins; but, unfortunately, the families were on bad terms because of a lawsuit."
"Boyd," Minnie called softly from the doorway. He turned and looked. "You ARE a joy," she said. "And now, Mr. Lingford, I am done with him," Duncan said. "I turn over what is left to you and the law." "That?" Consul Lingford queried, in accent of horror. "That," Boyd Duncan replied, looking ruefully at his battered knuckles.
"It is outrageous," Consul Lingford cried, dodging the hurtling bodies of the two men. "It is an affront to the Government, to the United States Government. Nor will it be overlooked, I warn you. Oh, do pray desist, Mr. Duncan. You will kill the man. I beg of you. I beg, I beg..." But the crash of a tall vase filled with crimson hibiscus blossoms left him speechless.
This time the Captain went down, bearing the typewriter under him as he crashed to the floor. "This is not permissible," Consul Lingford spluttered. "I beg of you, I beg of you, to desist." "I'll pay the damages to office furniture," Duncan answered, and at the same time landing more bunched knuckles on the eyes and nose of Dettmar.
Consul Lingford exploded, staring horror-stricken at the man whom he had invited to lunch. Duncan giggled involuntarily, then controlled himself. "I apologize, Mr. Lingford, I most heartily apologize. I fear I was slightly carried away by my feelings." Consul Lingford gulped and sawed the air speechlessly with his arms. "Slightly, sir? Slightly?" he managed to articulate.
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