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Updated: June 18, 2025
'Mind ye, he says, 'mind ye, he says, ''tis our jooty to be frindly with th' Germans, he says. 'I'm now on me way f'r to organize a camp iv me Dutch frinds down be th' slough, he says. An' off he goes. "'Twas not long afther whin I heerd a man singin' 'Th' Wearin' iv th' Green' down th' sthreet, an' in come Schwartzmeister. 'Faugh a ballagh, says he, meanin' to be polite.
An' Dochney wint to th' meetin'; an', whin his name was called, he hollered 'Aye, so loud a chunk iv plaster fell out iv th' ceilin' an' stove in th' head iv a rayform aldherman." "Did they hang him?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "Faith, they did not," said Mr. Dooley. "He begun missin' his jooty at wanst. Aldhermen always do that after th' first few weeks.
"All he needs is an index an' a few illusthrations to make him a bicyclopedja iv useless information." "Well," said Mr. Hennessy, judiciously, "he ain't no Soc-rates an' he ain't no answers-to-questions colum; but he's a good man that goes to his jooty, an' as handy with a pick as some people are with a cocktail spoon. What's he been doin' again ye?" "Nawthin'," said Mr.
If 'twas in Boolgahria or Chiny or on th' head waters iv th' Bozoon river in th' sooltynate iv iv I dinnaw what thin'twud be th' jooty iv our gover'mint f'r to resolve that th' inthrests iv humanity an' civilization an' th' advancement iv th' human kind required that we shud step in an' put a head on wan or both iv th' parties.
Now as to the p'ints o' absentees, my business as dep'ty sheriff has took me away from this inconsider'ble town freckwent, hain't it?" "It have, Matt, er somethin' else, more'n I were a expectin', an' " "Jes' so. But a public officer, Pink, when jooty call on him to go, he got to go; in fack he got to goth, as the Scripture say, ain't that so?"
It's the jooty of the camp to drag forth the haughty descendant of a hundred or maybe a hundred and twenty-five earls, even so at the p'int of a lariat, and jine him to the weepin' lady. Fellows! roundup Miss Sally and the Marquis; there's goin' to be a weddin'." This whim of Phonograph's was received with whoops of appreciation.
I dinnaw. This here boy's father wur-rked fr'm morn till night in th' mills, was at early mass Sundah mornin' befure th' alkalis lit th' candles, an' niver knowed a month whin he failed his jooty. An' his mother was a sweet-faced little woman, though fr'm th' County Kerry, that nursed th' sick an' waked th' dead, an' niver had a hard thought in her simple mind f'r anny iv Gawd's creatures.
Onless ye cud prove that they had cost ye less thin a hundhred dollars, or that ye had worn thim f'r two years in Europe, or that ye were bringin' thim in f'r scientific purposes or to give a museem, there was an enormous jooty on teeth. Th' Governmint used to sind profissyonal humorists down to th' docks to catch th' teeth smugglers.
'Return, he says, 'to ye'er native land, an' receive anny gratichood th' Sicrety iv War can spare fr'm his own fam'ly, he says. 'F'r me, he says, 'there is no way but f'r to tur-rn me back upon this festive scene, he says, 'an' go where jooty calls me, he says.
"'Tis th' Gineral's jooty to luk out f'r his throops, not Danny Morgan's or mine," replied the big rifleman in disgust. The column halted. I signalled my men to follow me and hastened along the flanks under a fire of chaff: "Look at young buckskins! There go Morgan's macaronis! God help the red-coats this day! How's the scalp trade, son?"
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