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Updated: April 30, 2025
Schmucke saw that his new friends were very poor, and recollecting that the theatre was only a few steps away, it naturally occurred to him to apply to the manager for his salary. He went at once, and found Gaudissart in his office. Gaudissart received him in the somewhat stiffly polite manner which he reserved for professionals.
Friend Gaudissart has only been on the road for twenty-five days; he took a post-chaise without saying a word to me. Oh, he is devoted! We owe a great deal to my uncle. "Newspapers!" exclaimed the deputy-mayor. "Haven't you read them?" "No." "Then you know nothing," said Popinot. "Twenty thousand francs worth of placards, gilt frames, copies of the prospectus. One hundred thousand bottles bought.
The king of travellers was amenable to the claims of his old friends, enforced as they were by the enormous premiums offered to him. "Listen, my little Jenny," he said in a hackney-coach to a pretty florist. All truly great men delight in allowing themselves to be tyrannized over by a feeble being, and Gaudissart had found his tyrant in Jenny.
"Listen," he began, "do you know what you ought to do in this business?" "I haf ein mann of pizness!" "Very good, come to terms at once with the next-of-kin; make them pay you a lump sum of money down and an annuity, and you can live in peace " "I ask noding more." "Very well. Let me arrange it for you," said Gaudissart.
In the evening he went up to the traveller's room carrying pens, ink, and paper. "What have you got there?" asked Gaudissart. "If you are going to fight to-morrow," answered Mitouflet, "you had better make some settlement of your affairs; and perhaps you have letters to write, we all have beings who are dear to us. Writing doesn't kill, you know. Are you a good swordsman?
After this fashion did the youth attached to the service of the manager's office announce La Cibot, whom the portress below had particularly recommended to his care. Gaudissart had just come in for a rehearsal. Chance so ordered it that no one wished to speak with him; actors and authors were alike late.
I shall do up Amboise in two days, and I will write next from Tours, where I shall measure swords with the inhabitants of that colorless region; colorless, I mean, from the intellectual and speculative point of view. But, on the word of a Gaudissart, they shall be toppled over, toppled down floored, I say. "Adieu, my kitten.
"Monsieur," said the ex-dyer, as soon as the illustrious Gaudissart had fired his first broadside, "I will not hide from you the great difficulties which my native place offers to your enterprise. This part of the country goes along, as it were, in the rough, 'suo modo. It is a country where new ideas don't take hold.
Just as the tongue-battery of the illustrious Gaudissart, that Murat of travellers, when brought to bear upon the provinces and the frontiers, made the house of A. Popinot and Company a triumphant mercantile success in the country regions, so likewise did Cephalic Oil triumph in Parisian opinion, thanks to Finot's famishing assault upon the newspapers, which gave it as much publicity as that obtained by Brazilian Mixture and the Pate de Regnauld.
This done, the illustrious Gaudissart departed in high feather, humming, as he skipped along, "The King of the South, He burned his mouth," etc. The illustrious Gaudissart returned to the Soleil d'Or, where he naturally conversed with the landlord while waiting for dinner.
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