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Updated: June 27, 2025
The offending satirist stood in the pillory on the three last days of July, 1703, before the Royal Exchange in Cornhill, near the Conduit in Cheapside, and at Temple Bar. It is incorrect, however, to say with Pope that "Earless on high stood unabashed Defoe." His ears were not cropped, as the barbarous phrase went, and he had no reason to be abashed.
The sea-lion, with its stouter limbs, can lift its forepart, raise its head and look about it, and even flop about the ice-fields at a respectable rate. And there is no doubt that one of these is as much above an earless seal as fifty years of Europe are better than a cycle of Cathay.
But if he did not doubt this, how could he any more doubt that, although all sentient creatures suddenly became eyeless and earless, the sun might go on shining, and the wind roaring, and the sea bellowing as before?
In the dried museum specimen this slit is wholly invisible, and even in the live or freshly killed animal it is by no means readily apparent. Keen observer of natural objects, as savage and barbaric man certainly is, it is going too far to suppose him capable of representing an earless animal earless at least so far as the purposes of sculpture are concerned with prominent ears.
In the same year innumerable earless blades of wheat rose from the bottom of the sea like a forest, catching up mud, mire, weed, and remains of animals, so that by and by a dune rose under water which stopped the ships from entering the port of Stavoren. The inhabitants of the town who had principally lived by commerce, suddenly found the source of their wealth stopped.
Their horses were growing thin, and few could withstand the mute appeals of their suffering pets; so at night the corn, because of individual foraging, kept stealthily and steadily vanishing, until the field was soon fringed with only earless stalks.
"I fancy Miss Ariadne is not entirely indifferent to me." "Well, you might just as well understand on this 18th day of July, 18 , as any other time, that my daughter Ariadne never becomes the Earless of Mugley," said Terwilliger, in a tone of exasperation.
During all this discussion, old Rube had not said a word. The earless trapper was sitting upon the prairie, squat on his hams, tracing out some lines with his bow, and apparently laying out the plan of a fortification. "What are ye doin', old hoss?" inquired one of his comrades.
"'Twur turkey-buzzart, then; that's what it wur." "Turkey-buzzard!" echoed everyone. "'Twa'n't any thin' else." "Wagh? that was a stinkin' pill, an' no mistake." "That beats me all hollow." "And when did ye eat the buzzard, old boy?" asked one, suspecting that there might be a story connected with this feat of the earless trapper. "Ay! tell us that, Rube; tell us!" cried several.
It does not appear that the attention of archæologists has ever been directed to the fact that such a resemblance exists; nor indeed is the resemblance sufficiently close to justify calling it a veritable manatee. But with the aid of a little imagination it may in a rude way suggest that animal, its earless head and the flipper being the most striking, in fact the only, point of likeness.
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