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Updated: May 12, 2025
"You kno' you done it, Bud Billins I followed you an' listened when you tuck up the cat an' you whispered in the cat's year that your spliced an' wedded wife was a a she devil!" "It tuck two plates that time, Mister Kingsley that's the time Bud didn't draw no pay fur two weeks.
I am a early riser, but my wife is a Presbyterian. I may add that I am also bald-heded. I keep two cows. I live in Baldinsville, Indiany. My next door naber is Old Steve Billins. I'll tell you a little story about Old Steve that will make you larf.
So I watched that pint an' killed 'em all long towards the first quarter with quicksilver an' the white of an egg. Wal, Bud never sed a word all that month. "What you reckin' Bud done, Mister Kingsley? Bud Billins thar, what did he do? Got mad about his biscuits it's the funny way the fool spell allers hits him, he never gits mad about anything but his biscuits.
I think he's nearly c'wored an' I'm mighty glad you is, Bud Billins, fur it's costin' a lot of mighty good crockery to c'wore you. "Now you all jes' lem'me 'lone, Mister Kingsley lem'me manage Bud. He's slo' mouthed as I'm tellin' you, but he's gittin' over them spells an' I'm gwinter c'wore him if I hafter go into the queensware bus'ness on my own hook.
She gasped she clinched her fist. Bud dodged an' tried to break away. "Told him I was a a heifer!" Bud looked sheepishly around he tried even to run, but Jud Carpenter held him fast. She shook her finger in his face. "I heard you say it, Bud Billins, you know I did an' I busted a plate over yo' head." "But, my dear Madam," said Kingsley, "that was no reason to treat him so badly."
He jined the Church last spring, and the minister said, "You must go home now, Brothern Billins, and erect a family altar in your own house," whereupon the egrejis old ass went home and built a reg'lar pulpit in his sittin room. He had the jiners in his house over four days. I am 56 years of age. Time, with its relentless scythe, is ever busy. The Old Sexton gathers them in, he gathers them in!
Mind you, Mister Kingsley, Bud didn't say it to my face no, he never says anything to my face but he gits up an' picks up the cat an' tells ther cat what he thinks of me his own spliced an' wedded wife sland'in' me to the cat." She shook her finger in his face "You know you did, Bud Billins an' what you reckin he told ther cat, Mister Kingsley told her I was a a "
Now, Bud Billins, you jes' go in there now an' go to tendin' to that slubbin' machine, an' don't you so much as look at a cat twixt now an' next Christmas." Bud needed no further admonition. He bolted for the door and was soon silently at work. But Jud Carpenter did not finish his work by starting the slubbing machine. Samantha Carewe, one of the main loom women, was absent.
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