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Updated: June 26, 2025
"Now, look here, Tillie, I oughtn't argy no words with you, fur you're my child and you're got the right to mind me just because I say it. But can't you see the inconsistentness of the plain people? And yet them Mennonites won't leave a sister keep a millinery-shop!" "But," Tillie tried to hold her ground, "there's watches, pop, and clocks that jew'lers sells. They're useful.
He learned to talk when very young and his tongue once started, its periods of rest had been few. From a youth he was noted for his ability to "argy." He was the hero of the rural debating society and would argue any side of any question with any man on a moment's notice.
"'No, says I; 'she's strong as a railroad-track. "'Wal, then, says he, 'I'm a-goin' to do it. You come down Sunday an' we'll take her out afore anybody's out o' the bunk-house. "I tries to argy him out of it, but he won't listen.
Well, I know lots of folks travel with no higher aim than to tell their exploits, so I didn't argy with him. And the hull party of us sot off one pleasant day to view them wonders; they're only six miles from Cairo.
Why, down in the Coconino country they used to set half a dozen greasers diggin' graves, by cripes, soon as I started in to argy with a man. It was a safe bet they'd need three or four, anyways, if old Bud cut loose oncet. Sheepherders? Why, they jest natcherly couldn't keep enough on hand, securely, to run their sheep. They used to order sheepherders like they did woolsacks, by cripes!
So he would go on and argy, regardless of common sense or Tirzah Ann's legs. And then Uncle Nate would reply: "Josiah, safety lays on the ground, and in this climate more liable each year to tornadoes and cyclones, the only safety lays in spreadin' out on the ground. Build only one story," sez he, "and a low one at that, and let it spread out every way as much as it wants to."
The Three Ps would start on Sunday morning early and find a room in some modest inn and talk themselves asleep, and return singing through the night, or having an "argy bargy" about the stars, on Monday evening.
I didn't argy but felt that he wouldn't with his size and weight made much headway agin them whales and water monsters to say nothin' of danger by drowndin' and fallin' from the sky. But he felt neat and we wended our way on. Josiah said he didn't care about goin' to Asia, and I said it wuz a pity not to when we wuz so nigh, but he kinder hurried me on.
But Keturah, poor thing! wuz jest turned right out of office root and branch. She knowed what high influence duz in politics, and she got Thomas Jefferson to argy with the Inspector and tell him jest how it wuz. But he said the dignity of a great Nation wuz at stake and out she must go. "Keturah wep' and cried, and reminded him the yarn wuz gin back and how small the sum wuz.
"Your father and his friends killed some of my men," he said. "I ain't here now to argy with you about the rights an' wrongs of it, but I want to tell you that all the people of the mountains are up for the Union. With them from the lowlands that are the same way, we'll chase you rebels, Jeff Davis and all, clean into the Gulf of Mexico."
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