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Well, it's jest my first nateral come at opinion, as I tolled Ben here, not more'n a quarter o' an hour ago, that you war jest mean enough for any thing, as ever war invented, in the whole univarsal yarth o' creation so ef you do kill me, I won't be in the leastest grain disappinted, no how."
"There's England's Queen, and England's Prince, and Hanover's King, and the old Swordbelt that whopped Bony; and he is better worth seem' than any man now livin' on the face of the univarsal airth, let t'other one be where he will, that's a fact. He is a great man, all through the piece, and no mistake.
It's a fine field for a young man; I don't know no better one no where in the whole univarsal world.
"There's two languages, Squire, that's univarsal: the language of love, and the language of money; the galls onderstand the one, and the men onderstand the other, all the wide world over, from Canton to Niagara. I no sooner showed him the half dollar, than it walked into his pocket, a plaguy sight quicker than it will walk out, I guess.
Younker; "I only jest wish you had to change places with me and Ben here for about five minutes; and ef I didn't make your old daubed, nasty, villainous, unyarthly looking faces grin to another tune, I hope I may never be blessed with liberty agin in creation, as long as I live on the face o' this univarsal yarth!"
"'Don't listen to those gentlemen in red; their sarvice is one which no man who has brains will ever think of footing it over the univarsal world; they have usually been called by us the flatfoots. They uses the musquet only, and have hands like feet, and feet like fireshovels. "'Mind me, gentlemen, the royal regiment of the Royal Artillery is a sarvice which no gentleman need be ashamed of.
They'll take away all our lands, for sartin! and Ben's bin and bought four hundred acres, poor man, at forty cents a acre, under the new laws of Varginna which comes to one hundred and sixty dollars, hard money; and now maybe he'll have to lose it all, and not git nothing for it; and then what in the name o' the whole univarsal creation will become on us?"
"Club together and buy at the apothecaries a hundred dollars worth of pison; fix it in scraps of meat, and scatter it through and through the woods; and if it don't make the animals scarce, I'll quit a guessin'. Then git up a hunt for the birds a univarsal hunt, and have judges and give premiums to them that count the most game; continue the hunt a week or fortnight for two or three years runnin', and the birds won't pester us much after that."
"It's one o' the bestest things as ever war invented," continued the good woman, in her eulogy of the article in question; "and has did more good in it's time, nor all the doctors on the univarsal yarth put together could do, in the way of curing sprains, and bruises, and stomach-pains, and them things; and ef you don't believe it, Mr. Mr.
Cooper says not one Tory called on him when he was to England, but Walter Scott; and that I take it, was more lest folks should think he was jealous of him, than any thing else; they jist cut him as dead as a skunk; but among the Whigs, he was quite an oracle on ballot, univarsal suffrage, and all other democratic institutions."
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