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Updated: May 8, 2025
When they had taken their seats in the corner of the room, Yussuf said, "Now my guests, as you hope for pardon, tell me, do you know nothing of what has happened to me this day and what the blockhead of a caliph has been about?" Haroun and the vizier could with difficulty restrain their laughter, as they shook their heads.
And then he raised his voice perceptibly, as if he wished to be overheard: "I think those men who passed just now were not officers at all. Perhaps they were strangers. It may be that one of them is confused, and is leading the guard in the wrong direction!" "Don't make so much noise then!" retorted Yussuf Dakmar.
"Yes," continued Yussuf, "that vicegerent of a tattered beard, and more tattered understanding, has issued a decree for closing the baths for three days, by which cruel ordinance, I was again cast adrift upon the sea of necessity.
Yussuf Pacha, having been detached from Epirus to Euboea by the Scrasker, heard on his route of the insurrection in Peloponnesus. Upon which, altering his course, he sailed to Patrass, and reached it on the fifteenth of April. This was Palm Sunday, and it dawned upon the Greeks with evil omens.
"You beeldar!" cried he, "why do you not unsheath your sword?" "My sword," replied Yussuf, "is of that temper that it must not too long glance in the eyes of the Commander of the Faithful." The caliph appeared satisfied, and turning to the first beeldar, commanded him to strike. In a moment, the head of the robber was lying on the ground.
The woman, who had already repented of her divorce, was glad to return, and with many compliments, they took their leave of him. "By Allah!" exclaimed Yussuf, "but this is good. I will live and die an officer of the law." So saying he returned home for his basket, purchased his provisions and wine, and lighting up his house, passed the evening in carousing and singing as before.
Abraha, who was a rather dull and stolid personage, accepted these mock apologies with such imperturbable gravity and sincerity that Haroun was delighted with him. Saluting Haroun very solemnly, the sham Grand Vizier said, "Sir, I beg that you will give yourself no concern respecting the language or demeanour of your friend Yussuf.
Delighted with his success, Yussuf continued his occupation, and attended with alacrity every fresh candidate for his joint-twisting skill. By the time that evening prayers commenced he had kneaded to mummies half a dozen more true believers, and had received his six dirhems, upon which he determined to leave off for that day.
"I am good at forestalling!" said Hadad. "Then don't you forestall me!" laughed Jeremy. "The fellow with a face like a pig's stern is Yussuf Dakmar, and he's my special preserve." "I am a good Moslem. I refuse to lay hand on pig," said Hadad, smiling. We discussed Feisul and the Arab cause. "Oh, if we had Lawrence with us!" exclaimed Hadad excitedly at last.
Delighted with his success, Yussuf continued his occupation, and attended with alacrity every fresh candidate for his joint-twisting skill. By the time that evening prayers commenced, he had kneaded to mummies half a dozen more true believers, and had received his six dirhems, upon which he determined to leave off for that day.
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