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Hear now!" He settled himself at ease on the top of the carriage. "I'll tell you all about ut. Av coorse I will name no names, for there's wan that's an orf'cer's lady now, that was in ut, and no more will I name places, for a man is thracked by a place." "Eyah!" said Ortheris, lazily, "but this is a mixed story wot's comin'." "Wanst upon a time, as the childer-books say, I was a recruity."
"Was you though?" said Ortheris; "now that's extryordinary!" "Orth'ris," said Mulvaney, "av you opin thim lips av yours again, I will, savin' your presince, sorr, take you by the slack av your trousers an' heave you." "I'm mum," said Ortheris. "Wot 'appened when you was a recruity?" "I was a betther recruity than you iver was or will be, but that's neither here nor there.
But a voice awoke the recruity from his reverie a voice of authority which asked with a most unnecessary emphasis what the blank, blank he meant by skulking there, when he knew conventionally well that he had been conventionally well ordered to the quartermaster's stores to get his conventional kit.
Oh, it was all over, and one manly heart was sore and cold. The new recruity stood there planted in the barrack square, as innocent of his surroundings as if he had been asleep, and mechanically filled and lit his pipe, and stood on with his chin sunk upon his breast, scarcely aware of his own thoughts, and as yet realising little but solitude and an ache in the doleful middle of it.
"It isn't bad," said Marshby, unconsciously straightening. "Go ahead, Jerome. Turn us all into field-marshals." "Not all," objected Wilmer, seeming to dash his brush at the canvas with the large carelessness that promised his best work. "The jobs wouldn't go round. But I don't feel the worse for it when I see the recruity stepping out, promotion in his eye."
I got it too, but I'd a deal rather I'd had his topper and he'd had mine, and that's honest; for though he's a gentleman and I have only been a rough recruity, he's always been a good chap to me, and I never liked him so much as I do now when he's in such trouble. I wonder where poor Miss Minnie is." Phoonk! came from somewhere outside, and there was a rattling as of an iron chain.
All she says to me was, like she was a Sergeant Major and I was a recruity, 'You get into this buggy, Patrick McGillicuddy. So, as orders is orders, sir, I got in, and I stayed in until my fears of that horse's hind feet right under nay nose got the better of my duty to Missis McGillicuddy, as my superior orficer.
"You've dishgraced yourself though that's no matter. You've dishgraced B Comp'ny, an' worst av all, you've dishgraced Me! Me that taught you how for to walk abroad like a man whin you was a dhirty little, fish-backed little, whimperin' little recruity. As you are now, Stanley Orth'ris!"
'Oh! You are, are you? sez I. 'Colonel nor no Colonel, you waits 'ere till I'm relieved, an' the Sarjint reports on your ugly old mug. Coop! sez I. . . . . . . . . . An' s'help me soul, 'twas the Colonel after all! But I was a recruity then." The Unedited Autobiography of Private Ortheris.
Hear now! He settled himself at ease on the top of the carriage. 'I'll tell you all about ut. Av coorse I will name no names, for there's wan that's an orf'cer's lady now, that was in ut, and no more will I name places, for a man is thracked by a place. 'Eyah! said Ortheris lazily, 'but this is a mixed story wot's comin'. 'Wanst upon a time, as the childer-books say, I was a recruity.
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