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Updated: May 22, 2025
Thin there was wan that I see mintioned in th' war news wanst in a while, th' less we f'rget, th' more we raymimber. That was a hot pome an' a good wan. What I like about Kipling is that his pomes is right off th' bat, like me con-versations with you, me boy.
"'I did, says th' Cap. "'Throw it out thin, says th' prisident. 'We must be guided be th' laws iv ividence. Th' witness will confine himself to forgeries. Have ye e'er a forgery about ye'er clothes, mon gin'ral? "'I wish to confront th' witness, says Matther Blamange. "'Sit down," says th' prisident. "'D'ye raymimber meetin' me at dinner at Moosoo de Bozoo's.
'I'm anxious f'r to ind this hor'ble war, he says, 'which has cost me manny a sleepy night, he says; 'but 'twud be a crime f'r to sind a sojer onprepared to battle, he says. 'Wait f'r th' pijammas, he says. 'Thin on to war, he says; 'an' let ye'er watchword be, "Raymimber ye'er manners," he says. "'They'se a man out here, says th' privit sicrity, 'that wants to see ye, he says.
'He was th' man that come in con-sumption's dreaded form, says I, 'an' he was afraid iv no man. 'Well, thin, says he, 'how ar-re we to account f'r this disgrace? he says. "'Well, says I, 'd'ye raymimber th' fightin' tenth precint? Ye must've heerd ye'er father tell about it. It was famous f'r th' quality an' quantity iv th' warfare put up in it.
I mind th' time well whin an Orangey 'd as lave go through hell in a celluloid suit as march in this here town on the twelfth iv July. I raymimber wanst they was a man be th' name iv Morgan Dempsey, a first cousin iv thim Dempseys that lives in Cologne Sthreet, an' he was a Roscommon man, too, an' wan iv th' cutest divvles that iver breathed th' breath iv life.
He was as quick as a cat an' as fierce as a tiger, an' I well raymimber him havin' laid out big Kelly that used to thravel this post, 'Whistlin'' Kelly that kep' us awake with imitations iv a mockin' bur-rd, I well raymimber him scuttlin' up th' alley with a score iv polismin laborin' afther him, thryin' f'r a shot at him as he wint around th' bar-rns or undher th' thrucks.
Dooley, "is a man ye niver heerd iv befure. If ye can think iv annywan whose face is onfamilyar to ye an' ye don't raymimber his name, an' he's got a job on a pa-aper ye didn't know was published, he's a war expert. 'Tis a har-rd office to fill. Whin a war begins th' timptation is sthrong f'r ivry man to grab hold iv a gun an go to th' fr-ront.
Th' people jammed Finucane's Hall, an' he tol' thim th' time had come f'r th' masses to r-rise. 'Raymimber, says he, 'th' idees iv Novimb'r, he says. 'Raymimber Demosthens an' Cicero an' Oak Park, he says. 'Raymimber th' thraditions iv ye'er fathers, iv Washin'ton an' Jefferson an' Andhrew Jackson an' John L. Sullivan, he says.
Tosses thim out like a man throwin' handbills f'r a circus. 'Take that, he says, 'an' raymimber th' Maine, he says. An' he goes into th' harbor, where Admiral What-th'-'ell is, an', says he, 'Surrinder, he says. 'Niver, says th' Dago. 'Well, says Cousin George, 'I'll just have to push ye ar-round, he says. An' he tosses a few slugs at th' Spanyards.
D'ye raymimber th' sign th' mob carrid in th' procession las' year? 'Give us wurruk, or we perish, it said. They had their heads bate in be polismen because no philan-thropist'd come along an' make thim shovel coal.
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