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Updated: May 31, 2025
How often have I seen the effect of a first-rate dinner spoiled by a vulgar dessert! laid flat on the table, for example, or with ornaments that look as if they had been hired at a pastrycook's: triumphal arches, and Chinese pagodas, and solitary pines springing up out of ice-tubs surrounded with peaches, as if they were in the window of a fruiterer of Covent Garden.
'No, that I'll never do, when I came on purpose to spend it. After all, the only thing I can think of, continued Geoffrey, after a pause, 'is to go back to the pastrycook's. There was one kind of tart I did not taste, and perhaps it would be nicer than the others. I'll give you one if you like.
It is the habit of grimalkin to leave the kitchen or parlour, as often as hunger and an opportunity may occur, and wend her way to a certain pastrycook's shop, where, the better to conceal her purpose, she endeavours slily to ingratiate herself into favour with the mistress of the house.
It seemed to chase the gaily blue-painted trams as they sped up and down the centre of the town, bestowing upon them a fictitious gala air, and danced tremulously on the round, shiny yellow tops of the tea-tables temptingly arranged on the pavement outside the pastrycook's. It was still early afternoon, but already small groups of twos and threes were gathered round the little tables.
And this frank admission ought to show that I am not your mere twaddling laudator temporis acti your old fogey who can see no good except in his own time. They say that claret is better nowadays, and cookery much improved since the days of my monarch of George IV. Pastry Cookery is certainly not so good. I passed by the pastrycook's shop lately, having occasion to visit my old school.
The day's discipline was, that its selected hero should reign the undisputed monarch of it, so when I was for Pitt, I had my tart as he used to have it, and no story, for he had none, and I think my idea of the ruler of a realm presented him to me as a sort of shadow about a pastrycook's shop. But I surprised people by speaking of him.
The Analytical, in course of time achieving what he feels to be due to himself in bringing to a dignified conclusion several quarrels he has on hand with the pastrycook's men, announces breakfast. Dining-room no less magnificent than drawing-room; tables superb; all the camels out, and all laden. Splendid cake, covered with Cupids, silver, and true-lovers' knots.
He gave one gulp, and hurried away. At the fishmonger's, the same story, only for a smaller amount. A bill of nineteen pounds at the very pastrycook's; a place she had promised him, as her physician, never to enter. At the draper's, thirty-seven pounds odd. In short, wherever she had dealt, the same system: partial payments, and ever-growing debt.
I made the tailor get me a new Pierrot costume, which I placed with the others, and with two new purses, in each of which I placed five hundred sequins, I repaired to the pastrycook's before seven o'clock. I found the table spread, and the supper ready. I shut up Zenobia in the room where the ladies were to make their toilette, and at five minutes past seven the joyous company arrived.
"A plain leg of mutton, my Lucy, I prythee get ready at three; Have it tender, and smoking, and juicy, And what better meat can there be?" says Gray, quoting my favourite poet. 'But the cook is ill; and you know that horrible Pattypan the pastrycook's 'Silence, Frau! says Gray, in a deep tragedy voice. 'I will have the ordering of this repast. Do all things as I bid thee.
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