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Updated: June 1, 2025
"Or mebby, as I observes to Texas Thompson one time in the Red Light when him an' me's discussin', or mebby it's because he's that callous he don't care, or that shiftless he won't take trouble. "'Whatever's the reason, says Texas, on that o'casion, heavin' a sigh, 'thar's much to be said in praise of the custom.
"One evenin' Dan Boggs, who's allers tantalisin' 'round askin' questions it looks like a sleepless cur'osity is proned into Dan ropes at Peets concernin' this topic: "'Whatever do they teach in colleges, Doc? asks Dan. "'They teaches all of the branches," retorts Peets. "'An' none of the roots, adds Colonel Sterett, 'as a cunnin' Yank once remarks on a o'casion sim'lar.
"'Pol'tics, remarks Colonel Sterett on that o'casion, re-fillin' his glass for the severaleth time, 'jest nacherally oozes from a editor, as you-all who reads reg'larly the Coyote b'ars witness; he's saturated with pol'tics same as Huggins is with whiskey. As for myse'f, aside from my vocations of them tripods, pol'tics is inborn in me.
I don't blame 'em none neither. I sees this Caldwell seraph on one o'casion myse'f; she's shore a beauty! an' whenever she throws the lariat of her loveliness that a-way at a gent, she's due to fasten. "It's a month followin' this division of the house of Hardrobe when I runs up on him in person.
Shore, we consults; but that don't come to nothin' ontil the o'casion when Doc Peets takes the tangle in ser'ous hand. "Thar's a day dawns when Missis Rucker gets exasperated over Dave's ill-yoosage. Missis Rucker is a sperited person an' she canters over an' onloads her opinions on Tucson Jennie.
I'm bashful speshul of girls; for I soon discovers that it's easier to face a gun than a girl, an' the glance of her eye is more terrifyin' than the glimmer of a bowie. That's the way I feels. It's a fact; I remembers a time when my mother, gettin' plumb desp'rate over my hoomility, offers me a runnin' hoss if I'd go co't a girl; on which o'casion I feebly urges that I'd rather walk.
"'On this sad o'casion when Jack Rainey gets killed, this yore excellent custom he invents is in full swing.
When I uses the term 'o'casion, I would be onderstood as alloodin' to affairs of a simply social kind, an' not to robberies, hold-ups, hoss-larcenies, an' other an' sim'lar transactions in spec'latif crime when every gent defends his own. Speakin' social, however, I reasserts that by every roole of guidance, I'm entitled to the first shot.
I've jest dropped at the time when my ammunition waggons enters into the sperit of the o'casion like I describes. As I lays thar one of my men comes gropin' along down to me in the smoke. ""Be you hurt, Major?" he says. ""I don't know," I replies: "my idee is that you better investigate an' see." "'He t'ars open my coat; thar's no blood on my shirt.
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