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Updated: June 21, 2025
Lady Laura Kennedy's Headache Phineas went down to Loughlinter early in July, taking Loughton in his way. He stayed there one night at the inn, and was introduced to sundry influential inhabitants of the borough by Mr. Grating, the ironmonger, who was known by those who knew Loughton to be a very strong supporter of the Earl's interest. Mr.
Phineas was to be the Saulsby candidate at Loughton for the next election, and was to come to Saulsby with the Kennedys from Loughlinter, either with the Kennedys or somewhat in advance of them. "I do not say that there will be no opposition," said the Earl, "but I expect none."
The inspector was apparently of the same opinion, for I saw him cast a glance of the deepest malevolence at the too inquiring disciple of St. Crispin. In fact, his turn came next, and the cobbler's hair stood up with unholy joy. The finding of the lower half of the trunk in Staple's Pond at Loughton was the inspector's own achievement, but he was not boastful about it.
What interest would you have there? You could not even have found an elector to propose you." "Now, I'll tell you what I'll do, Finn. I think you have thrown me over most shabby, but I won't stand about that. You shall have Loughton this session if you'll promise to make way for me after the next election.
You have managed matters among you in such a way that poor little Loughton has been swallowed up. If I were to canvass the electors of Smotherem, I don't think that many would look very sweet on me." "There is the county, Oswald." "And whom am I to turn out? I should spend four or five thousand pounds, and have nothing but vexation in return for it.
"If you see my father, tell him that I am ready at any moment to do what is necessary for raising the money for Laura." Taking this as his excuse he returned to Loughton. As chance arranged it, he met the Earl standing on the great steps before his own castle doors. "What, Finn; is this you? I thought you were in Ireland." "Not yet, my lord, as you see."
Phineas, although he was at the present moment the member for Loughton himself, could not but enjoy the joke of this. Could there be any liberal feeling in such a place, or, indeed, any political feeling whatsoever? Would not Messrs. Grating and Shortribs have done just the same had it happened that Lord Brentford had been a Tory peer?
"Broadbury the brewer is there already!" "Yes; and ready to spend any money you like to name. Let me see. Loughton is grouped with Smotherem, and Walker is a deal too strong at Smotherem to hear of any other claim. I don't think we could dare to propose it. There are the Chelsea hamlets, but it will take a wack of money." "I have not got a wack of money," said Phineas, laughing.
"Of course you will; and knowing that, I am glad that you are in office. I suppose there will be no difficulty about Loughton." Then Phineas laughed. "I hear," said he, "that Mr. Quintus Slide, of the People's Banner, has already gone down to canvass the electors." "Mr. Quintus Slide!
Damn it, I say; what's the good of a brotherhood if it ain't to be brotherhood?" "Upon my word, I don't know what you mean," said Phineas. "Didn't I tell you that I had Loughton in my heye?" said Quintus. "Oh h!" "It's very well to say ho, and look guilty, but didn't I tell you?" "I never heard such nonsense in my life." "Nonsense?" "How on earth could you have stood for Loughton?
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