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Updated: May 15, 2025
But they was one man setting beside the undertaker on the seat of the hearse that was looking sollumer than them all. It was Looey, and I'll bet the corpse himself would of felt proud and happy and contented if he could of knowed the style Looey was giving that funeral. It wasn't nothing Looey done, fur he didn't do nothing but jest set there with his arms folded onto his bosom and look sad.
"Nine dollars and seventy cents," said Joan of Arc's brother Bill; "the seventy cents is for the steak and the nine dollars will help some to pay for the Looey the Fifteenth furniture in the bridal chamber." "Save the money, John," whispered Peaches, "and we'll buy a pianola with it." "How about a sliver of roast beef with some simple vegetable," I said to the waiter.
Th' Pops is again th' banks an' again the supreme court an again havin' gas that can be blowed out be th' human lungs. A sthrong section is devoted to th' principal iv separatin' Mark Hanna fr'm his money. "A ma-an be th' name iv Cassidy, that thravels f'r a liquor-house, was in to see me this mornin'; an' he come fr'm Saint Looey. He said it beat all he iver see or heerd tell of.
Looey said it wouldn't be no use learning to read. He'd done a lot of reading, he said, and it never helped him none. All he ever read showed him this feller Hamlet was right, he said, when he wrote Shakespeare's works, and they wasn't much use in anything, without you had a lot o' money.
"Yes," I says, "and so is Adam and Eve and Dan and Burrsheba and all the rest of them old-timers. But I bet they had a good time while they lasted." Looey shakes his head solemn and sighs and goes to sleep very mournful, like he has to give me up fur lost. But I can't sleep none myself.
And he says to look at Damon and Pythias, and Othello and the Merchant of Venus. And he named about a hundred prominent couples like that out of Shakespeare's works. "But it ends happy sometimes," I says. "Not when it is true love it don't," says Looey. "Look at Anthony and Cleopatra." "Yes," I says, sarcastic like, "I suppose they are in the tomb, too?" "They are," says Looey, awful solemn.
He jest sets and stares and stares at the fire, and his eyes looks like they is another fire inside of his head, and he is hurting outside and in. Looey and me watches him from the shadders fur a long time before we turns in, and the last thing I seen before I went to sleep was him setting there with his face in his hands, staring, and his lips moving now and then like he was talking to himself.
"I saw you from the trail," he answered promptly, evidently not thinking it wise to mention the fieldglass. And then: "Is Dick at home?" Not that he wanted Dick but a fellow, even when he is in the last stages of love, feels need of an excuse sometimes. "No we women are alone to-day. There isn't a man on the place, except Looey Sam, and he doesn't count."
to make no descriptions of the friendship which goes on between this yere Willis an' me. I sees a show one time when I'm pesterin' 'round back in St. Looey an' I'm yere to remark I don't go that far east no more which takes on about a couple of sports who's named Damon an' Pythias. Them two people's all right, an' game. An' they shore deems high of one another.
He's Joey I forgit the rest of his names; he's got about a dozen more and they sound like stones rattlin' around inside a can. But Joey's a right guy. After me tour o' duty ends he's goin' to buy me a drink and maybe introjuce me to a lady friend o' his. Want to join the party, Looey?"
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