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Updated: May 16, 2025
The word Interest was in every monikin's mouth, while the word Principle, as indeed was no more than suitable, seemed to be quite blotted out of the Leaplow vocabulary. To render a local term into English, half of the vernacular of the country appeared to be compressed into the single word "dollar." "Dollar dollar dollar" nothing but "dollar!
Both the commodore and the brigadier laughed at the simplicity of the question; the former answering that the people of Leaplow were exceedingly active and adventurous, and both lines had got to be so expert, that, at the word of command, they would throw their summersets in as exact time, and quite as promptly, as a regiment of guards would go through the evolution of slapping their cartridge-boxes.
The envoy-extraordinary of Leaplow, accompanied by his friend, Brigadier Downright, arrived just as we were dressed; and a most extraordinary figure the former cut, if truth must be said.
If he can throw in a favorable word, too, touching the Leaplow cats and dogs Lord bless you, sir! they would pardon treason!" "I begin to comprehend your policy, judge, if not your polity. Leaplow being a popular government, it becomes necessary that its public agents should be popular too.
"I believe I'll take an interest in that article myself, Sir John, if you can give me a ton or two between decks. Have you many of this manufacture?" "Lots on 'em, sir and they DO sell so! That 'ere are a good harticle both at 'ome and abroad. My eye! how they does go off in Leaplow!" "This appears to be also your expectation, brigadier, by your readiness to take an interest!"
This renunciation, which is also sometimes called the DENUNCIATION, was much more to the liking of Leaplow than to that of Leaphigh; and a long and sanguinary war was the consequence. The Leaplowers, after a smart struggle, however, prevailed in their firm determination to have no more to do with Leaphigh. The sequel will show how far they were right.
I profited by the delay and shall seize a favorable moment to make the reader acquainted with some of my acquisitions on this interesting topic. The institutions of Leaplow are divided into two great moral categories, viz.: the LEGAL and the SUBSTITUTIVE. The former embraces the provisions of the great ELEMENTARY, and the latter all the provisions of the great ALIMENTARY principle.
In Leaplow we are greatly in want of a capital, where the cultivated, educated, and well-mannered can assemble, and, placed by their habits and tastes above the ordinary motives and feelings of the less instructed, they might form a more healthful, independent, appropriate, and manly public sentiment than that which now pervades the country.
The present case was rather Leaplow than generic; and I could only account for it, by supposing that nature had placed certain nerves in the wrong part of the Leaplow anatomy. On entering the house, a strong smell of roasted meat saluted my nostrils, causing a very unphilosophical pleasure to the olfactory nerves, a pleasure which acted very directly, too, on the gastric juices of the stomach.
On this hint, we ordered that there should be drawn, morally, in every district of Leaplow, two distinct and separate lines, that should run at right angles to each other. These were termed the 'political landmarks' of the country; and it was expected that every citizen should range himself along one or the other. All this you will understand, however, was a moral contrivance, not a physical one."
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