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Updated: June 9, 2025
Mack r-rose up in a perfect hurcane iv applause, an' says he, 'Gintlemen, he says, 'an' fellow-heroes, he says, 'ye do me too much honor; he says. 'I alone shud not have th' credit iv this gloryous victhry. 'We have just emerged fr'm a turrible war, he says. 'Again, he says, 'we ar-re a united union, he says. 'No north, he says, 'no south, no east, he says, 'no west.
'I have cruised, he says, 'f 'r two thousan' miles through th' Ar-rchey Pelago that's a funny name ivry minyit a surprise an' delight to those that see me, he says. 'I see corn growin' on banana threes; I see th' gloryous heights iv Ding Dong that ar-re irradyatin'. civilization like quills upon th' fretful porcypine, he says.
Take us prisoners, an' rayceive us into ye'er gloryous an' well-fed raypublic, he says. 'Br-rave men, says Gin'ral Miles, 'I congratulate ye, he says, 'on th' heeroism iv yer definse, he says. 'Ye stuck manfully to yer colors, whativer they ar-re, he says. 'I on'y wondher that ye waited f'r me to come befure surrindhrin, he says. 'I welcome ye into th' Union, he says.
O Clyo lady moost facundyous O ravysshynge delyte of eloquence O gylted goddes gaye and gloryous Enspyred with the percynge influence Of delycate hevenly complacence Within my mouth let dystyll of thy shoures And forge my tonge to gladde myn auditoures.
It gives ye some idee iv th' kind iv gloryous governmint we're livin' undher, to see our fair Columbia puttin' her brave young arms out an' defindin' th' products iv our soil fr'm steel rails to porous plasthers, hooks an' eyes, artyficial horse hair an' bone casings, which comes undher th' head iv clothin' an' I suppose is a polite name f'r pantaloons.
But 'tis not th' prance iv an American citizen makin' a gloryous spectacle iv himsilf." "They were coerced," said Mr. Hennessy, gloomily. "Don't ye believe it," replied the philosopher. "It niver requires coercion to get a man to make a monkey iv himsilf in a prisidintial campaign. He does it as aisily as ye dhrink ye'er liquor, an' that's too aisy.
We make our own gloryous pages on th' battlefield, in th' camp an' in th' cab'net meetin'." "Well, 't is all r-right f'r ye to be jokin'," said Mr. Hennessy, "but there's manny a brave fellow down there that it's no joke to." "Thrue f'r ye," said Mr.
I'd like to raymimber him, an' it might be I cudden't if he got th' job. Who was the prisidint befure Mack? Oh, tubby sure!" "Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "'tis good to see that th' gloryous ol' commonwealth iv Kentucky is itsilf again." "How's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "F'r some time past," said Mr.
An' fr'm all cor-rners iv th' counthry they've gone to Washin'ton, where they're called th' Sthrateejy Board. "Day an' night they set in a room with a checker-board on th' end iv a flour bar'l, an' study problems iv th' navy. At night Mack dhrops in. 'Well, boys, says he, 'how goes th' battle? he says. 'Gloryous, says th' Sthrateejy Board.
'Gloryous, says McKinley. 'I make ye a colonel, he says. 'Let me thry ye in tactics, he says. 'Suppose ye was confronted be a Spanish ar-rmy in th' afthernoon, how wud ye dhress? he says. 'I'd wear a stovepipe hat, a long coat, a white vest, an' lavender pants, says Willie. 'An' if th' attack was be night? he says. 'I'd put on me dhress shoot, an' go out to meet thim, says Willie.
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