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Updated: July 23, 2025
'Will drink your lordship's health there, anyway." He skipped away up the road towards Tregarrick. In the opposite direction young Mr. and Mrs. Trudgian could be seen just passing out of sight, he supporting her with his arm, pausing every now and then, bending over her uxoriously. "'Erbert 'Enery Bates!" "Wot cheer!"
Still holding him by the ear, I led him forth and flung him into the cab, in a corner of which the trembling Horrex had already huddled himself. He fell, indeed, across Horrex's knees, and at once screamed aloud. "Softly, softly, Master 'Erbert," whispered the poor man soothingly. "It's only poor old Horrex, that you've known since a boy." "Horrex?" Master Herbert straightened himself up.
Yet never has the present writer felt more abjectly crushed with a sense of incompetence than when posed by the difficulties of a "hagnostic" greengrocer, or of a dressmaker fresh from the perusal of "Erbert" Spencer.
"Oh, you good, good boy! . . . Yes, dear lads," went on Link Andrew, in a mimicking voice, "it is indeed the meet-your-flag of our 'oly Motherland, and 'Erbert 'Enery Bates, our Good Conduck Medallist, will now oblige by going down on his knees and kissing it. Else I'll put an eye on him!" Master Bates "Good Conduct Bates" stepped forward, with his fists up.
'Erbert was, as you might say, a hafterthought: which, finding him so affable, I thought I might go one better. He cost me a pretty penny first and last. But when he offered to introjuice me and me, at his invite, going back to be put up at No. 402 like any other gentleman why, 'ow could I resist it?" "If I forbear to have you arrested, Trewlove, it will be on condition that you efface yourself.
"Cousin, I believe; or hardly so much as that, I'm thinking. But all the same if anything was to happen to young Mr. Herbert, it would all go to him." "It would, would it?" "So people say." "Mr. 'Erbert is the son of the old cock at Castle Richmond, isn't he?" "Just so. He's the young cock; he, he, he!"
"It may, after all, be a lesson to Mr. 'Erbert," he muttered as we reached the landing. "I fancy it's going to be a lesson to several of you." "The things we've 'ad to keep dark, sir the goings-on!" "I can well believe it."
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