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It was not for want of having it expounded to them, for their military attache "'im with the spatchcock on 'is 'elmet," as I heard him described by a British orderly missed nothing of what occurred, as is evident from their official history of the war.

There was a big fat policeman with 'em a man I'd seen afore on the beat and, when they 'ad gorn on, he stopped to 'ave a word with me. "'Ot work," he ses, taking off his 'elmet and wiping his bald 'ead with a large red handkerchief. "I've lost all my puff." "Been running?" I ses, very perlite. "Arter a pickpocket," he ses.

You reckonise Boadishia, Colonel, with the Roman elmet, cuirass, and javeling of the period all studied from the hantique, sir, the glorious hantique. "'All but Boadicea, says father.

"Why, I gave you that black eye, I smashed your 'elmet, I cut your silly 'ead open, I " "You've been drinking," said the other, severely. "You mean to say I didn't?" demanded Mr. Grummit, ferociously. Mr. Evans came closer and eyed him steadily. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, calmly. Mr. Grummit, about to speak, stopped appalled at such hardihood.

Sergeant Raines was in the verandah talkin' to me, an' Mackie 'e come along acrost the square an' 'e sez, 'Well, sez 'e, ''ave they pushed your 'elmet off yet, Sergeant? 'e sez. An' at that Raines 'e catches 'is breath an' 'e sez, 'My Gawd, I can't stand this! sez 'e, an' 'e picks up my rifle an' shoots Mackie. See?"

And saluting me in the same manner, he said in an under-tone, "If I ad ad one of them at Badajoz, Sir, I think I'd a put a pen in that trooper's mouth to write the account of the way he lost his elmet. A shower of them, Sir, among a troop of cavalry would have sent riders flying, and horses kicking, as bad as a shower of grape.

"'Betty, said I, 'I won't ear a word hagin him: he is the best friend I ever had, but I won't tell him, if you wish it. "'Well, said Betty, and she bust out crying for joy, for she can cry at nothing, amost. 'Look, Tom, here's twenty Napoleons, I found them quilted in that officer's elmet. So after all, I got out of that scrape pretty well, didn't I, Sir?"

"'Why what have I done? says I. 'I couldn't help getting that little scratch on the leg. "'Oh, it tante that, she said; 'it's that orrid stroke of the sun. There's your poor ead huncovered again. Where is your elmet? "'Oh, bother, sais I, 'ow do I know? Somewhere on the ground, I suppose.

She wouldn't think nothin' of me, Sir, if she thought I could have been floored that way; and women, when they begin to cry, throw up sometime what's disagreeable. They ain't safe. She would perhaps have heaved up in my face that that dragoon had slapped my chops for me, with his elmet.

"No Bobby as ever stuck 'is hignorant hinsolent 'ead into a 'elmet ever could catch us." "Sk!" ejaculated Jim, expanding from ear to ear. "Well, then," continued the Bloater, becoming more grave and confidential, "it's my opinion, Jim, that you and I shall 'ave a run for it to-night.