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Updated: May 24, 2025
I don't know exactly the right or wrong on't, it is hard sometimes to keep track of ethics in a Jonesville quarrel, and when two big Empires git to cuttin' up and actin' and sassin', and dastin' each other to do thus and so, I can't be expected to know all the ins and outs of their dispute.
"And while Ward and his 'postles was drawed up in a line on one side of the ball-room, and not dastin' to move hand or foot for fear they wouldn't be moved genteel, you got dead tired a-waitin' for 'em to make a move of some kind. "It wuz a weary, tuckerin' sight to America and me, and must have been dretful for you to gone through.
After all this, talk to me about our country's dastin to have the face to reform any other country's amusement.
I see her companion in the distance comin' slowly back as if not hardly dastin' to interrupt our conversation, and I sez, "Good-by, my dear, and God bless you. Give my respects to your pardner and Queen Emma, and if you ever come to Jonesville I would love to have you make me a all day's visit, and I'll invite the children and kill a hen and make a fuss.
"Now if I'd invited you, Ulaley, as I wanted to, I wuzn't a-calculatin' to draw up Josiah and the boys and Ury on one side of the room, and the girls and myself in a line on the other side, and not dastin' to advance and welcome you for fear I wouldn't put the right foot out first, or wouldn't put in the right number of breaths a second I ort to.
"Yes, the coolers, the hired help, you know," sez he. "Catch Ury fixin' his eye on his left side coat collar when he speaks to me not dastin' to lift it, and bowin' and scrapin' when I told him to go and hitch up, or bring in a pail of water, and catch him windin' his hair in a wod when he wuz out by himself and then lettin' it down his back when he came to wait on me."
After rulin' the centuries with a high hand nobody dastin' to go nigh it, it wuz that powerful and awful in its might and magesty, it has been made to serve, jest as the Bible sez: "He that is mightiest amongst you shall be your servant," or words to that effect.
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