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Updated: May 9, 2025
Then America would have lived and danced before us like Pickwick's England, a fairyland of happy lunatics and lovable monsters, and we might still have sympathised as much with the rhetoric of Lafayette Kettle as with the rhetoric of Wilkins Micawber, or with the violence of Chollop as with the violence of Boythorn.
After a short devotion to the interests of the magic circle, he resumed the conversation by observing: 'You won't half feel yourself at home in Eden, now? 'No, said Mark, 'I don't. 'You miss the imposts of your country. You miss the house dues? observed Chollop. 'And the houses rather, said Mark. 'No window dues here, sir, observed Chollop. 'And no windows to put 'em on, said Mark.
'Here's one on 'em, cried Mark, 'Hannibal Chollop. 'Don't let him in, said Martin, feebly. 'He won't want any letting in, replied Mark. 'He'll come in, sir. Which turned out to be quite true, for he did. His face was almost as hard and knobby as his stick; and so were his hands. His head was like an old black hearth-broom.
I have read too much American journalism to deny that any of these sentences and any of these opinions may at some time or other have been uttered. I do not deny that there are such opinions. But I do deny that there are such people. Mr. Chollop had some moments in his existence when he was not threatening his fellow-creatures with his sword-stick and his revolver.
And very independent! 'I shot him down, sir, pursued Chollop, 'for asserting in the Spartan Portico, a tri-weekly journal, that the ancient Athenians went a-head of the present Locofoco Ticket. 'And what's that? asked Mark. 'Europian not to know, said Chollop, smoking placidly. 'Europian quite!
After a full enjoyment of this joke, Mr Hannibal Chollop sat smoking and improving the circle, without making any attempts either to converse or to take leave; apparently labouring under the not uncommon delusion that for a free and enlightened citizen of the United States to convert another man's house into a spittoon for two or three hours together, was a delicate attention, full of interest and politeness, of which nobody could ever tire.
Of all this human side of such American types Dickens does not really give any hint at all. He does not suggest that the bully Chollop had even such coarse good-humour as bullies almost always have. He does not suggest that the humbug Elijah Pogram had even as much greasy amiability as humbugs almost invariably have.
We must be cracked-up, or they rises, and we snarls. We shows our teeth, I tell you, fierce. You'd better crack us up, you had! After the delivery of this caution, Mr Chollop departed; with Ripper, Tickler, and the revolvers, all ready for action on the shortest notice. 'Come out from under the blanket, sir, said Mark, 'he's gone.
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