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Updated: June 24, 2025
"We shall want both, my Chris," he said, his face against mine, "oh, my Chris !" And then the Colonel walked in. "Herr Leutnant?" he said, in a raucous voice, as though he were ordering troops about. At the sound of it Bernd instantly became rigid and stood at attention, the perfect automaton, except that I was hanging on his arm. "Zur Befehl, Herr Oberst," he said.
Bernd, from habit, stiffened and became unapproachable the instant the middle class public in the shape of the congratulatory boarders appeared. He doesn't even know he's like that, his training has made it second nature. You should have seen his lofty, complete indifference. It was dreadfully rude really, and oh how they loved him for it! They simply adored him, and were ready to lick his boots.
I'm not to go back to Berlin till Monday, as Bernd can stay on here till then, and there's no point in spending a Sunday in Berlin unless one has to. Kloster is going to give me three lessons a week instead of two, and I shall work now with such renewed delight! He says I won't, but I know better. Everything I do seems to be touched now with delight.
Everything is combining to make this summer the most wonderful of summers for me. How I shall think of it when I am old, and laugh for joy. The weather is so perfect, people are so kind, my playing prospects are so encouraging; and there's Bernd. Did you ever know such a lot of lovely things for one girl? All my days are filled with sunshine and love.
But one has such fears oh, more than just fears, terrors Well, I won't go on writing in this mood. I'll pack. Your own Chris. At Frau Berg's, August 4th, 1914, very late. Precious mother, I'm coming back to you. Don't be unhappy about me. Don't think I'm coming back mangled, a bleeding thing, because you see, I still have Bernd. I still believe in him oh, with my whole being.
I think I shall say I'm an American. Frau Berg, poor thing, will be relieved to find me gone. She only took me in tonight because of Bernd.
Anyhow, when she had gone in we looked at each other and laughed, and Bernd took my hands and kissed them one after the other, and said something so sweet, so dear, but I can't tell you what it was.
It was as if a door had been flung open, and the freshness and sanity of early morning came into the room when he did. I hung on his arm, and looked up into his dear shrewd eyes, so clear and kind, so full of wisdom. The boarders were with one accord servile to him; even Doctor Krummlaut, a clever man with far better brains probably than Bernd.
I knew we were poor, and that you were so very precious. Now I feel safe, safe about you as well as myself. I can look life in the eyes, quite confident, almost careless. I have such faith in Bernd! Two together are so strong, if one of the two is Bernd. Good night my blessed mother of my heart. I'm going to say thank-prayers now, for you, for him, for the whole beautifulness of the world.
I think I told you he is going to give me three lessons a week now. After tea, I practised most of the morning. I wrote to Bernd, and told him about Monday, and told him oh, lots of little things I just happened to think of.
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