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Updated: June 1, 2025


‘No,’ said Francis Ardry, ‘something higher and much more rational than dog-fighting at present occupies my thoughts.’ ‘Dear me,’ said I, ‘I thought I had heard you say that there was nothing like it!’ ‘Like what?’ said Francis Ardry. ‘Dog-fighting, to be sure,’ said I. ‘Pooh,’ said Francis Ardry; ‘who but the gross and unrefined care anything for dog-fighting?

Wishing to make up a triumvirate, I mentioned the name of Wellington, to which Francis Ardry merely said, "bah!" and resumed the subject of dog- fighting.

'It will prevent me devoting all my time, said Francis Ardry, 'as I gladly would; but what can I do? My guardians wish me to qualify myself for a political orator, and I dare not offend them by a refusal.

"It is not always indispensable," said I; "there is an orator in my town, a hunchback and watchmaker, without it, who not only leads the people, but the mayor too; perhaps he has a succedaneum in his hunch; but, tell me, is the leader of your movement in possession of that which wants ?" "No more deficient in it than in brass," said Francis Ardry.

The servant, in some confusion, was hastening to close the door, but, ere he could effect his purpose, Francis Ardry, who had caught a glimpse of me, exclaimed, "Come in come in by all means," and then proceeded, as before, speechifying and gesticulating. Filled with some surprise, I obeyed his summons.

Then taking from the table a kind of three-cornered hat, and a cane headed with amber, he shook Francis Ardry by the hand; and, after glancing at me for a moment, made me a half bow, attended with a strange grimace, and departed. 'Who is that gentleman? said I to Francis Ardry, as soon as were alone. 'Oh, that is said Frank, smiling, 'the gentleman who gives me lessons in elocution.

"Divert myself," said I; "and where am I to find the means?" "Be that care on my shoulders," said Francis Ardry. "Listen to me my uncles have been so delighted with the favourable accounts which they have lately received from T of my progress in oratory, that, in the warmth of their hearts, they made me a present yesterday of two hundred pounds.

I could not maintain him long. Suddenly I bethought me of Horncastle, which Francis Ardry had mentioned as a place where the horse was likely to find a purchaser, and not having determined upon any particular place to which to repair, I thought that I could do no better than betake myself to Horncastle in the first instance, and there endeavour to dispose of my horse.

Not that such phantasmagoria," said I, raising my voice, "are to be compared for a moment with such desirable things as fashion, fine clothes, cheques from uncles, parliamentary interest, the love of splendid females. Ah! woman's love," said I, and sighed. "What's the matter with the fellow?" said Francis Ardry. "There is nothing like it," said I. "Like what?" "Love, divine love," said I.

The servant, in some confusion, was hastening to close the door; but, ere he could effect his purpose, Francis Ardry, who had caught a glimpse of me, exclaimed, ‘Come income in by all means’; and then proceeded, as before, speechifying and gesticulating. Filled with some surprise, I obeyed his summons.

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