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Updated: June 17, 2025
I pleaded my coverture; being a married man.’ ‘And what did the lady say to that?’ inquired Tottle, deeply interested. ‘Changed her ground, and said that Frank being a single man, its impropriety was obvious.’ ‘Noble-minded creature!’ exclaimed the enraptured Tottle. ‘Oh! both Fanny and I said, at once, that she was regularly cut out for you.’
‘What were they, if one may inquire?’ asked Timson, who had heard the story, on an average, twice a week for the last six months. Mr. Watkins Tottle listened attentively, in the hope of picking up some suggestion that might be useful to him in his new undertaking. ‘I spent my wedding-night in a back-kitchen chimney,’ said Parsons, by way of a beginning.
But how well you have done it—I didn’t think you could have carried it off so!’ Mr. Watkins Tottle was proceeding to demonstrate that the Richardsonian principle was the best on which love could possibly be made, when he was interrupted by the entrance of Martha, with a little pink note folded like a fancy cocked-hat.
The cloth was removed; the ladies soon afterwards retired, and Miss Lillerton played the piano in the drawing-room overhead, very loudly, for the edification of the visitor. Mr. Watkins Tottle and Mr.
I hope you will acquit me of any presumption when I explain that I have been acquainted through Mrs. Parsons, with the state—that is, that Mrs. Parsons has told me—at least, not Mrs. Parsons, but—’ here Watkins began to wander, but Miss Lillerton relieved him. ‘Am I to understand, Mr. Tottle, that Mrs.
Mr. Watkins Tottle rose hastily from his seat, and rang the bell. ‘What’s that for?’ inquired Parsons. ‘I want to send the man for the bill stamp,’ replied Mr. Watkins Tottle. ‘Then you’ve made up your mind?’ ‘I have,’—and they shook hands most cordially.
‘Let me entreat you to be more explanatory,’ said Tottle. ‘Really, as the party principally interested, I cannot consent to be disposed of, in this way.’ ‘I’ll tell you,’ replied Mr. Gabriel Parsons, warming with the subject, and the brandy-and-water—‘I know a lady—she’s stopping with my wife now—who is just the thing for you.
Watkins Tottle flung himself into an arm-chair, and indulged in the most delicious reveries of future bliss, in which the idea of ‘Five hundred pounds per annum, with an uncontrolled power of disposing of it by her last will and testament,’ was somehow or other the foremost.
Parsons, ‘you are really very polite; you stay away the whole morning, after promising to take us out, and when you do come home, you stand whispering together and take no notice of us.’ ‘We were talking of the business, my dear, which detained us this morning,’ replied Parsons, looking significantly at Tottle.
‘Come,’ said Watkins, when the explosion of mirth, consequent on this practical jest, had subsided, ‘we’ll be off at once—let’s lose no time.’ ‘Capital!’ echoed Gabriel Parsons; and in five minutes they were at the garden-gate of the villa tenanted by the uncle of Mr. Timson. ‘Is Mr. Charles Timson at home?’ inquired Mr. Watkins Tottle of Mr. Charles Timson’s uncle’s man. ‘Mr.
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