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Updated: June 7, 2025
'Now, Mortimer, says Lady Tippins, rapping the sticks of her closed green fan upon the knuckles of her left hand which is particularly rich in knuckles, 'I insist upon your telling all that is to be told about the man from Jamaica. 'Give you my honour I never heard of any man from Jamaica, except the man who was a brother, replies Mortimer. 'Tobago, then. 'Nor yet from Tobago.
Whereupon the pleasant Tippins says aloud, 'The Lord Chancellor has resigned! With distracting coolness and slowness for he knows the curiosity of the Charmer to be always devouring Eugene makes a pretence of getting out an eyeglass, polishing it, and reading the paper with difficulty, long after he has seen what is written on it. What is written on it in wet ink, is: 'Young Blight.
'I did hope, Veneering goes on, 'to have had Lady Tippins to meet you; but she is always in request, and is unfortunately engaged. 'Mortimer Lightwood, resumes Veneering, 'whom you both know, is out of town; but he writes, in his whimsical manner, that as we ask him to be bridegroom's best man when the ceremony takes place, he will not refuse, though he doesn't see what he has to do with it.
A reviving impression goes round the table that Eugene is coming out. An unfulfilled impression, for he goes in again. 'Now, my dear Mrs Veneering, quoth Lady Tippins, I appeal to you whether this is not the basest conduct ever known in this world?
Mrs Veneering has just succeeded in waking Lady Tippins from a snore, by dexterously shunting a train of plates and dishes at her knuckles across the table; when everybody but Mortimer himself becomes aware that the Analytical Chemist is, in a ghostly manner, offering him a folded paper. Curiosity detains Mrs Veneering a few moments. Analytical Chemist bends and whispers. 'WHO? Says Mortimer.
Thus Tippins, and surveys Fledgeby and outsiders through golden glass, murmuring as she turns about and about, in her innocent giddy way, Anybody else I know? No, I think not. Nobody there. Nobody THERE. Nobody anywhere! Mr Lammle, all a-glitter, produces his friend Fledgeby, as dying for the honour of presentation to Lady Tippins.
Ceremony performed, register signed, Lady Tippins escorted out of sacred edifice by Veneering, carriages rolling back to Stucconia, servants with favours and flowers, Veneering's house reached, drawing-rooms most magnificent. Here, the Podsnaps await the happy party; Mr Podsnap, with his hair-brushes made the most of; that imperial rocking-horse, Mrs Podsnap, majestically skittish.
With Buffer, Boots, and Brewer, Lady Tippins is eminently facetious on the subject of these Fathers of the Scrip-Church: surveying them through her eyeglass, and inquiring whether Boots and Brewer and Buffer think they will make her fortune if she makes love to them? with other pleasantries of that nature.
This man gives a list of what he would like his mother to send him every ten days. As a matter of fact that is how I first knew Mrs. Tippins had these letters. She brought one along to show me, to see if I could get her something special. Part of the letter has been blacked out, but of course I found it very easy to take that blacking out," he chuckled.
Now, the point of view seized by the bewitching Tippins, that this same working and rallying round is to keep up appearances, may have something in it, but not all the truth. More is done, or considered to be done which does as well by taking cabs, and 'going about, than the fair Tippins knew of. Many vast vague reputations have been made, solely by taking cabs and going about.
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