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Updated: May 4, 2025
It was clearly ill-timed after dinner. It was not adapted to the cheek of the young person. It was not in good taste. 'I don't believe it, said Mr Podsnap, putting it behind him. The meek man was afraid we must take it as proved, because there were the Inquests and the Registrar's returns. 'Then it was their own fault, said Mr Podsnap.
A tall custard-coloured phaeton tooling up in a solemn manner leaves four cards, to wit, a couple of Mr Podsnaps, a Mrs Podsnap, and a Miss Podsnap. All the world and his wife and daughter leave cards.
Podsnap always talks Britain, and talks as if he were a sort of Private Watchman employed, in the British interests, against the rest of the world. 'We know what Russia means, sir, says Podsnap; 'we know what France wants; we see what America is up to; but we know what England is. That's enough for us.
'It merely referred, Mr Podsnap explained, with a sense of meritorious proprietorship, 'to Our Constitution, Sir. We Englishmen are Very Proud of our Constitution, Sir. It Was Bestowed Upon Us By Providence. No Other Country is so Favoured as This Country. 'And ozer countries? the foreign gentleman was beginning, when Mr Podsnap put him right again. The sound is "th" "th!"
Except, my dear Georgiana and what will you think of this! that he is infinitely shyer than you, and far more afraid of you than you ever were of any one in all your days! In perturbation of mind Miss Podsnap still fumed and plucked at her hands a little, but could not help laughing at the notion of anybody's being afraid of her.
"I don't want to know about it. I don't desire to discover it." "He had, however, acquired a peculiar flourish of his right arm in the clearing the world of its difficulties." "As so eminently respectable a man, Mr. Podsnap was sensible of its being required of him to take Providence under his protection. Consequently he always knew exactly what Providence intended."
Gives Podsnap to understand that he, Veneering, formed his political opinions while sitting at the feet of him, Podsnap. Seeks earnestly to know whether Podsnap 'will rally round him? Says Podsnap, something sternly, 'Now, first of all, Veneering, do you ask my advice? Veneering falters that as so old and so dear a friend
Unconsciously using, in his exalted sphere, the exact language of the worthy and intelligent tradesman of our town, the near and dear kinsman of my friend upon my left would answer in his wrath, "Away with it!" Veneering finishes with this last success, and Mr Podsnap telegraphs to Mrs Veneering, 'He's down.
So it came to pass that Mr and Mrs Podsnap requested the honour of the company of seventeen friends of their souls at dinner; and that they substituted other friends of their souls for such of the seventeen original friends of their souls as deeply regretted that a prior engagement prevented their having the honour of dining with Mr and Mrs Podsnap, in pursuance of their kind invitation; and that Mrs Podsnap said of all these inconsolable personages, as she checked them off with a pencil in her list, 'Asked, at any rate, and got rid of; and that they successfully disposed of a good many friends of their souls in this way, and felt their consciences much lightened.
Firstly, because I couldn't take so much upon myself when I have respected family friends to remember. Secondly, because I am not so vain as to think that I look the part. Thirdly, because Anastatia is a little superstitious on the subject and feels averse to my giving away anybody until baby is old enough to be married. 'What would happen if he did? Podsnap inquires of Mrs Veneering.
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