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I began it five times, and as often tore up the sheets, scratched out whole pages, and copied it all over again. I spent as long over the letter as if it had been a novel I had to write to order.
So much rushes at once over the mind and heart memories of what has passed through both, since I made the first note in its pages alternations of hope and anxiety and aspiration, but never despondency that it resembles in a manner, the closing of a life. I seem almost to have lived through the common term of a life in this short period.
The principal picture-gallery of Dresden is the finest in Germany, and contains between three and four thousand admirable examples of high art, the work of such artists as Raphael, Holbein, Corregio, Albert Dürer, Rubens, Giotto, Van Dyck, and other masters already named in these pages.
In the subjoining pages, I offer to the world, a pretenseless record of the impressions, opinions, and convictions which have been, I may say, thrust upon me by a contact, which is yet necessarily limited, with the phases of every-day life.
It was to a friend in Rome, and from the sense we all have that a letter which is to go such a great distance ought to be a long letter, and from finding that she had really a good deal to say, she let it grow so that she began apologising for its length half a dozen pages before the end.
And yet in a very high sense of the word Seneca may be called, as he is called in the title of this book, a Seeker after God; and the resemblances to the sacred writings which may be found in the pages of his works are numerous and striking.
His Lordship, as soon as he was on his legs, taking him for one of the pages abused him heartily for not coming sooner, and threatened him with dismissal from the king's service for cowardice and neglect.
When he ended his verse he bade one of his pages saddle him his Nubian mare-mule with her padded selle. Moreover he bade lay on her back a piece of silk for a seat, and a prayer-carpet under which were his saddle-bags. He bought at Bilbays all he wanted for himself and forage for his mule and then fared on the way of the waste.
And that Van Wyck Committee might I not have left those contractors to be dealt with by their own Congress, seeing that that Congress committee was by no means inclined to spare them? I might have kept my pages free from gall, and have sent my sheets to the press unhurt by the conviction that I was hurting those who had dealt kindly by me! But what then?
"Do you suppose a man, with the best pages of his life rooted out, is likely to look out upon his fellows from the point of view of a philanthropist? Do you suppose that the man, into whose soul the irons of bitterness have gnawed and eaten their way, is likely to come out with a smirk and look around him for the opportunity of doing good? Rubbish!
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