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Updated: June 28, 2025
Quoth the Moor, "Thou art welcome, O Judar!" and, putting his hand into the saddle bags, pulled out a golden dish containing two hot browned chickens. Then said the Moor, "Fall to poor fellow!", and Judar said to him, "O my lord, thou carriest in yonder saddle bags kitchen and kitcheners!"
Such an absolute adjustment between a being of presumably infinite aspirations and immortal discontents and its environment, is a happiness seldom encountered by philosophers. To think of death for poor Mrs. Flower was to conceive a homelessness peculiarly pathetic; unless, indeed, there are kitcheners to superintend, beds to make, rooms to "turn out," and four spring-cleanings a year in heaven.
The greatest of all cooks, Apicius, was introduced as the author of several of the dishes which had so graced the pending feast. Then followed the brilliant kitcheners of Rome when foreign luxury was introduced into the empire from Asia, and as the procession passed along in grand review, some of the bon mots of each were repeated, followed by the hearty laugh of the guests.
There were two Kitcheners, as every informed person knows the popular hero and the Cabinet Minister with whom it was impossible for his associates to get along. He made his administrative career as an autocrat dealing with dependent and inferior peoples.
Torcello is of a different quality. Burano is intensely and rather shockingly living; Torcello is nobly dead. It is in fact nothing but market gardens, a few houses where Venetian sportsmen stay when they shoot duck and are royally fed by kitcheners whose brass and copper make the mouth water, and a great forlorn solitary cathedral.
I think he feels, dear fellow, that he and I are keeping our end up; that, although there are only bits of us left, we are there by inalienable right as part and parcel of the British Army none of your Territorials or Kitcheners, but the old original British Army whose prestige and honour were those of his own straight soul.
Their cooking was worse than primitive. It was a feeble muddling with food over wood fires in rusty drawing-room fireplaces; for the kitcheners burnt too much. Among them all no sense of baking or brewing or metal-working was to be found.
"O my son," replied the Chamberlain, "thy brother will be Sultan of Damascus and thou Sultan of Baghdad; so take heart of grace and get ready thy case." Moreover he ordered the kitcheners to cook rich viands and serve them and he commanded the water carriers to dispose the water troughs.
He smiled with good-natured contempt at the "Kitcheners" who were beginning to flood the old cathedral city with an ever-growing tide of khaki, and who brought him and all his fellow-tradesmen in Witanbury such increased prosperity. "Fine cannon-fodder!" Mr. Head would exclaim, of course in German.
What is it, I ask, that makes the army the finest school for character, giving us our Lawrences, our Havelocks, our Gordons, our Kitcheners, but simply this habit of implicit obedience, of that discipline which has grown so grievously lax in so many of our English homes?
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