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Then nothin' partic'lar happened until we was well this side o' the Line, when one day, when all hands of us was shortenin' sail to a heavy squall as had bust upon us, Jim Tarbutt, a hordinary seaman, comin' down off the main tops'l yard by way o' the backstays, lets go his hold and drops slap on top o' Mr Townsend, what happened to be standin' underneath, and, instead of hurtin' of hisself, broke t'other man's neck and killed him dead on the spot!
'I tell you I ain't agoin' to eat fat, he said, in a hoarse voice, as if his throat was stuffed up with one of his own newspapers. 'I want a special, I don't want a hordinary. 'This are a special, I tells you, retorted Spilsby, ungrammatically, pushing a smoking pie towards the boy; 'what a young wiper you are, Grattles, a-comin' and spoilin' my livin' by cussin' my wictuals.
"This 'ere, gossips," the Barbarian instantly detected the fallacy of all the so-called mediaeval jargon he had read, "is the Helectric Bell, which does away with our hold, hordinary 'orn blowin', and the hattendant waitin' in the 'all for the usual 'Without there, who waits? which all of us was accustomed to in mortal flesh. You hobserve this button.
The acrobatics which he performed with that defenceless consonant were marvelous. I have said that I selected him; that he selected me would be nearer the truth. "Cab, sir. Yes, sir, thank you, sir," he said. "Leave that to me, sir. Will you 'ave a fourwheeler or a hordinary cab, sir?" I wasn't exactly certain what a fourwheeler might be.
"You've got waiters enough, as far as that goes. But if you expect a hordinary Christian man to wait along of a lot o' narsty niggers, and be at their beck and call, you're mistook, sir, for I'm going to sleep the night at my brother-in-law's and take his advice, he bein' a doorkeeper at a solicitor's orfice and knowing the law, about this 'ere business, and so I wish you a good hevening, and 'oping your dinner will be to your liking and satisfaction."
"Robert Arnold, the sentence of this here court is that you'm to be turned for'ard and conwerted into a `hordinary seaman, to do a hordinary seaman's dooties, and to receive just exactly the same treatment as you've sarved out to the hands since this here ship sailed from Hold England, namely, more kicks than ha'pence. And the Lord have mercy on yer miserable carcase!"
'Now, I think, as fair-minded and unprejudiced parties, you'll agree with me that there was something more'n hordinary coinside-ency in all that.
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