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Sell thim gin, says I. ''Tis shameful they shud go out with nawthin' to hide their nakedness, he says. 'I'll fetch thim clothes; but, he says, cas th' weather's too war-rum f'r clothes, I'll not sell thim annything that'll last long, he says. 'If it wasn't f'r relligion, he says, 'I don't know what th' 'ell th' wurruld wud come to, he says. 'Who's relligion? says th' Fr-rinchman.

Whin I was sthrong, befure old age deprived me iv most iv me pathritism an' other infantile disordhers, I niver saw a Swede, a Hun, an Eyetalian, a Boohlgaryan, a German, a Fr-rinchman, that I didn't give him th' shouldher. If 'twas an Englishman I give him th' foot too. Threaty rights, says ye? We give him th' same threaty rights he'd give us, a dhrink an' a whack on th' head.

Th' King iv England is German, th' King iv Italy is a Sardine, th' King iv Sweden is a Fr-rinchman, an' all th' other kings an' queens are Danes excipt th' King iv Denmark, an' th' Lord knows what he is.

"Cap Dhryfuss was settin' on th' window-sill, whistlin' 'Garry Owen, an' makin' faces at th' gallant corryspondint iv th' Daily Wrongs iv Man. At this point he cried out laughingly: 'I will not conthradict th' gin'ral. I will say he lies. "'Let me ask this canal iv a Jew a question, says th' corryspondint iv th' evening Rothscheeld Roaster, a Fr-rinchman be th' name iv Sol Levi.

It seemed proper to us. If 'twas right to belong to wan naytionality, 'twas wrong to belong to another. If 'twas a man's proud boast to be an American, it was a disgrace to be a German an' a joke to be a Fr-rinchman. "An' that goes now. Ye can bump anny foreigner ye meet but a Jap. Don't touch him. He's a live wire. Don't think ye can pull his impeeryal hat down on his bold upcurved nose.

'What ar-re ye doin' here? says th' Englishman. 'Robbin' th' naygurs, says th' Fr-rinchman, bein' thruthful as well as polite. 'Wicked man, says th' Englishman. 'What ar-re ye doin' here? says the Fr-rinchman. 'Improvin' the morals iv th' inhabitants, says th' Englishman. 'Is it not so, Rastus? he says. 'It is, says wan iv th' kings. 'I'm a poorer but a betther man since ye came, he says.

'So I'll thank ye to be off, he says, 'or I'll take th' thick end iv the slung-shot to ye, he says. "Th' Fr-rinchman is a br-rave man, an' he'd stay an' have it out on th' flure; but some wan calls, 'A base th' Chinnyman! an' off he goes on another thrack. An', whin he gets to th' Chinnymen, he finds th' English've abased thim already.

Th' English dhress up f'r a Methodist preacher, stick a piece iv lead pipe in th' tails iv their coat in case iv emargency, an' get all th' money there is in th' line. "In th' fr-ront dure comes th' Englishman with a coon king on ayether ar-rm that's jus' loaned him their kingdoms on a prom'ssory note, and discovers th' Fr-rinchman emargin' frim th' roons iv th' safe.

'Tis thrue, they kiss each other. I wanst see a Fr-rinchman go f'r to kiss a man be th' name iv Doherty, that inthrajooced risolutions in favor iv Fr-rance again Germany at a convintion. Doherty thought he was afther his ear, an' laid him out. But in Fr-rance 'tis different. They begin be kissin', an' this thrile opined this way.

An' afther he's got through along comes a Fr-rinchman, an' an Englishman, an' a Rooshan, an' a Dutchman, an' says wan iv them: 'This is a comfortable lookin' saloon, he says. 'I'll take th' bar, ye take th' ice-box an' th' r-rest iv th' fixtures. 'What f'r? says I. 'I've paid th' rent an' th' license, says I. 'Niver mind, says he.