"'Neither, says I. 'We've got too much money to be implicated in plain charity; and we haven't got enough to make restitution. So, we'll look about for something that's about half way between the two. "The next day in walking around Floresville we see on a hill a big red brick building that appears to be disinhabited.
I don't believe there's any pleasure equal to being a philanthropist. Me and Andy bought high silk hats and pretended to dodge the two reporters of the Floresville Gazette. Once the Gazette printed my pictures with Abe Lincoln on one side and Marshall P. Wilder on the other. "Andy was as interested in philanthropy as I was.
"'I do not, says I. 'I mean dromedaries. But I never could make Andy understand; so we never ordered 'em. Of course, I meant them long bedrooms in colleges where the scholars sleep in a row. "Well, sir, the World's University was a success. We had scholars from five States and territories, and Floresville had a boom.
A long ride brought us to the Atascosa, where we stayed all night. The next morning we separated, Quince bearing due east for Floresville, while I continued southeast towards my home near Cibollo Ford on the San Antonio River. It had been over a year since I had seen the family, and on reaching the ranch, my father gruffly noticed me, but my mother and sisters received me with open arms.
We would fix it up with lights and pen wipers and professors, and put an iron dog and statues of Hercules and Father John on the lawn, and start one of the finest free educational institutions in the world right there. "So we talks it over to the prominent citizens of Floresville, who falls in fine with the idea.
"They marched up and down the streets waving flags with the World's University colors ultra-marine and blue and they certainly made a lively place of Floresville. Andy made them a speech from the balcony of the Skyview Hotel, and the whole town was out celebrating. "In about two weeks the professors got the students disarmed and herded into classes.
"The third day out we drove into one of the most specious and tidy little towns that Nature or Rand and McNally ever turned out. It was in the foothills, and mitigated with trees and flowers and about 2,000 head of cordial and dilatory inhabitants. The town seemed to be called Floresville, and Nature had not contaminated it with many railroads, fleas or Eastern tourists.
"I had confidence in Andy's chicanery in financial affairs, so I left the whole thing in his hands. The University was flourishing fine, and me and Andy kept our silk hats shined up, and Floresville kept on heaping honors on us like we was millionaires instead of almost busted philanthropists. "The students kept the town lively and prosperous.