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Updated: May 24, 2025
Staging a mock rebuke, he admonished a few near-by disciples. "Don't bother Mukunda. He will learn our ways." I politely concealed my doubt. The students left the room, not overly bent with their chastisement. Dyananda had further words for me. "Mukunda, I see your father is regularly sending you money. Please return it to him; you require none here.
The dual scales of MAYA, that balance every joy with a grief! My young heart was not yet malleable to the transforming fingers of my guru. The next morning I noticed increased hostility in the attitude of the hermitage members. My days became spiked with invariable rudeness. In three weeks, Dyananda left the ashram to attend a conference in Bombay; pandemonium broke over my hapless head.
As gesture of welcome to the swami, who had been absent for two weeks, many delicacies were in readiness. An appetizing aroma filled the air. Nothing else offering, what else could be swallowed except pride over yesterday's achievement of a fast? "Lord hasten the train!" The Heavenly Provider, I thought, was hardly included in the interdiction with which Dyananda had silenced me.
Pictures I had seen of famine victims passed wraithlike before me. "The next Benares death from starvation is due at once in this hermitage," I thought. Impending doom averted at nine o'clock. Ambrosial summons! In memory that meal is vivid as one of life's perfect hours. Intense absorption yet permitted me to observe that Dyananda ate absent-mindedly. He was apparently above my gross pleasures.
"Don't try to catch God so soon!" This ridicule from a fellow resident accompanied one of my early departures toward the attic. I went to Dyananda, busy in his small sanctum overlooking the Ganges. I am seeking direct perception of God. Without Him, I cannot be satisfied with affiliation or creed or performance of good works." The orange-robed ecclesiastic gave me an affectionate pat.
But even greater is my love for the Heavenly Father, who has given me the gift of a perfect father on earth. Let me go, that I someday return with a more divine understanding." With reluctant parental consent, I set out to join Jitendra, already in Benares at the hermitage. On my arrival the young head swami, Dyananda, greeted me cordially.
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